Raging Success: The Michael & Wagner Kovac Christmas Gift Drive

‘Twas the week before Christmas and all through the house … were boxes from Bed, Bath & Beyond. There was bubble wrap and packing slips and wrapping paper and handmade cards with messages such as, “Marry Chirstmas [sic]” from kids in Ohio—all evidence that a lot of people had donated to the Michael and Wagner Kovac Christmas Gift Drive--over $1500 in gift cards and blankets and socks like these from BB&B, all Christmas presents for cancer patients at the Moffitt Center in Tampa, Florida, with some gift baskets for the doctors and nurses who care for them.  

My niece (with help from her parents and siblings) wrapped forty-nine socks-and-blankets tote bag combos. Armed with $200 in gift cards and $50 in coupons, she made three trips to BB&B to pick out treats and sweets for the staff on 5th Floor North Side of Moffitt. The final gift card balance was $1.67.

It took nine people to carry all the bags and baskets to the 5th Floor North Side. The Michael and Wagner Kovac Christmas Gift Drive was among other gift drives that handed out presents to cancer patients on the morning of Christmas Eve, but the only one that also brought thank-you gifts for medical staff and caregivers.

In addition to fuzzy socks and cozy blankets and honey roasted peanuts, each gift came with a letter explaining why people from as far away as San Francisco and Italy thought that cancer patients should have fuzzy socks, cozy blankets, and honey roasted peanuts. Be sure to check it out here.

My sister-in-law (who—and I have this on good authority—has an entire wing in Heaven dedicated to her) wears many hats: wise and thoughtful person, wife, mother, chauffeur, Chex-mix Chef Extraordinaire and now, slide-show documentarian. She put together this youtube video so you can get a taste of how the gift drive turned out. Check this out, too. It’s really cool and it thanks all our donors at the end.

I am proud to be her sister-in-law and grateful for all her hard work. I am proud of my awesome niece and grateful for her shrewd eye for bargains and excellent math skills and wiliness to follow-through on the vision. I am proud that so many wonderful friends and family members donated to our cause and I am grateful for their contributions. You guys rock! Especially Jimmy Valdes and Heather Larrick who between the two of them, accounted for nearly half of all the tote bags purchased. I am also grateful to my friend and fellow micro-preemie Mom, Kat whose own gift drive (the Loki Sky's Holiday Gift Drive for Alta Bates NICU) gave me the idea in the first place.

I know December is a crazy month for everyone. Many of you emailed me to say that you supported our cause and wanted to contribute. It’s not too late. Yes, there’s always next year, but you can also give back in a comment here to my sister-in-law CJ and my niece GJ thanking them for making it happen. Without them, this gift drive would have been nothing more than a blog post.

Tote bags with blankets and socks from Bed, Bath & Beyond

(They're now $3 cheaper than they were in Dec.  

Should we stock up for next year?)

UPS was busy

all the little touches

just a sampling

with the gifts for staff

all the loot

The Letter

Here’s the letter that went with the handmade card by kids in Ohio that came with the package that was bought by loving and generous friends and family members who offered some of their reasons for giving.


My name is Janine Kovac. I live in Oakland, California. Last year I spent Christmas and New Year’s in the hospital. I was pregnant with twin boys who were due in April but were born in December instead. The boys spent the next three months in the hospital and my husband and I spent those three months at their bedside.

We had the support of so many of our friends and family, not to mention the support of the wonderful doctors and nurses at our hospital. They saw us through our journey.

Now it is our turn to give back.

Together with one of our nieces, we started “The Michael and Wagner Kovac Christmas Gift Drive,” named after my sons and inaugurated in honor of their grandfather, who is a patient here at Moffitt. Our drive benefits the 5th Floor, North side: patients, families of patients, and doctors and nurses on the 5th Floor. We raised over $1500 from friends and family all over the country: Minnesota, Texas, San Francisco, Chicago, Columbus, Albuquerque, even Italy!


We give because we know what it’s like to be in the hospital during the holidays and we know that even the smallest gesture of goodwill can make a difference.

Here are some of the reasons our friends and family chose to give:

We gave because everyone deserves some holiday cheer!!
Marian Kramer & Eric Sampson
(Marian raised $4000 this summer for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society through Team in Training)


There is so little in life we can control, we can contribute by giving
All the best,
Mims Mathers


We gave because
...everyone deserves fuzzy socks at Christmas!
...my dad is a cancer survivor! So is my aunt! So is my mother-in-law!
-San Francisco mom!

We gave because we are grateful to our community and want to extend it across the country.
In the hopes of bringing you some warmth and smiles,
Daughter of a two-time breast cancer survivor and parents of a brand new baby boy


1) I'm a breast cancer survivor
2) I believe in the power of praying and sharing
and last but not least
3) "It's not the strongest or the smartest of the species that survives, but the ones who can best adapt to change." (Charles Darwin)
Love and Hugs, Aunt Norma


We gave because we know that God doesn't always get us out of something happening in our lives, but He always takes us through everything so that we will always have Hope. Then we can be there for someone else who needs to know he/she will be able to face tomorrow.
Sister of a breast cancer survivor, stomach cancer survivor, and liver cancer survivor.


We gave because we know from experience what it feels like to spend time in the hospital.
Because we know all too well that it is even a little bit more challenging when it is the Holiday Season.
And because we know how "random" acts of friendliness from strangers during these difficult times really cheered us up.
Kathalijn, Jesse and Loki Reynolds


We wanted to donate to support our granddaughter Gen and also for the recovery of our daughter-in-law’s father, a Moffitt patient.
Norma and Wally, Ohio


We gave because…
… because our son, Matt, ran in a Moffitt race last year and had a great time
… because my favorite aunt’s a 2x cancer survivor
… because my niece is a cancer survivor too (but I can't say 'favorite' because her sisters would know!)
… because little things mean so much at Christmas
… because this year, we can afford to give, and in past years we couldn't (yea!)
Someone from the Columbus, Ohio Family


I did it!! This is such a wonderful thing to do!!!!!
Jan, 2 time lymphoma survivor


… because I love my father-in-law
… because my friend’s a cancer survivor—had chemo & surgery and is still just as healthy, strong, and fiery ten years later
… because I wanted to support my niece
… because cancer runs in my family
… because I spent Christmas in the hospital last year
Janine Kovac, Oakland


From our hearts and minds to your toes and feet!
Merry Christmas

Happy Birthday, Boys!

The boys turned 1 today. Our only plans were to go to the hospital and say hello to the staff. We’re regulars at the NICU—I’m around at least once a month for committee meetings, so the doctors and nurses always get the latest news on the twins. It just seemed right to make a victory tour.

In 2009, 7800 babies were born at Alta Bates. You think that they wouldn’t remember us down on the Labor & Delivery floor. You’d be wrong. I think it was the combination of mono-amniotic/mono-chorionic twins plus the births at 25 weeks plus almost-New-Years-Eve. Everyone remembered us. Some even by name.

Our first stop was the nurses in the antepartum ward. The nurses don’t remember me so well (not even as the person who brought chocolate chip cookies on Christmas Eve for the night shift) but they all remembered Matt. Maybe because he spent every night in Antepartum 12 with me. I think he even had his own shelf in the ward’s refrigerator, filling it up with pepper crusted beef and fresh Straus Family milk from Whole Foods—the desperate culinary requests from a pregnant wife.

The first person we saw was the doctor who’d given the boys their Apgar scores. She knew us well. She was the doctor who decided that the boys would have the ligation surgery three weeks after they were born and the doctor who helped us pick a pediatrician. Next we saw my favorite nurse, Mariann, whose grandson is the same adjusted age as the boys.

Everyone said the same thing: “I was just thinking of you today!”

I had called ahead to see if the doctor who delivered the twins was working today. She was. (Actually, there were nine doctors there in the room when the twins were born. Three for each of the boys and three for me.) This doctor was the one who called the shots and wrote up the report.

She was floored to see what the twins looked like a year later. And so happy! You would have thought that I had just given her a check from Publisher’s Clearing House.

“You just made my year,” she told us, more than once. She couldn’t stop smiling.

“We never see this. We know that most of them do pretty well when they go up there [on the 4th floor], but we never know…” she trailed off.

Every once in awhile I do a good deed (like those Christmas Eve cookies—which Matt baked, not me), but the simple act of showing the attending obstetrician that her handiwork resulted in two miracles with stellar health—twins born three months ahead of schedule, one with the umbilical cord wrapped twice around his neck, the other with a knot in his—feels like the best gift I have ever given. Who would have thought.

I’m glad she knows. I’m glad she knows that miracles happen and that she was at the starting line.

Wagner and Michael in their matching Penn State onesies from Cousin Lawrence

Memories of Last Year: Sneaking Suspicions

Last year this time Matt and Chiara were in Tampa. I was at home addressing Christmas cards and watching back-to-back episodes of “Celebrity Rehab.” I was 24 weeks pregnant. I had just finished writing and posting “Survivor Mom,” my most-read blog post in the whole blog,* blithely anticipating the chaos that would ensue following the twins’ arrival.

*I get about a hit a day on this post. Judging by my stats info, it’s getting emailed around. 2nd and 3rd place go to the two posts following “Survivor Mom.” Worth mentioning is that in 4th place, very close behind, is the post on the “Michael & Wagner Kovac Christmas Gift Drive.”

Before they made the trip I called my doctor to make sure it would be OK for my husband to be so far away from me. The nurse laughed to reassure me.

“Don’t worry. You are not going to go into labor at 24 weeks. I mean, never say never, but the chances are so small that I can say it’s just not going to happen.”

She reminded me that my high-risk condition: monoamniotic/monochorionic twins had nothing to do with early labor. The only reason the boys would be born between 28 and 34 weeks—in other words, premature—would be to prevent cord entanglement. But I had absolutely no factors that put me at risk for early labor.

“If anything,” the nurse continued. “You’ll get more rest with your husband and two-year-old away.”
I did get more rest. I went to two holiday parties. I read some books. I started to sort through the six trash bags of baby clothes that folks from the ballet studio had given us.

I was sooooo tired. And sooooo huge. I was starting to feel the babies move, starting recognize one movement as the Red Baby and another as the Blue Baby. And I kept pushing away the thought that I was feeling very much the way I had felt in the weeks leading up to Chiara’s birth. But that was impossible. It had to be my imagination. After all, I was only five and a half months pregnant.

Michael and Wagner Kovac Christmas Gift Drive

Little did I know it, but a year ago today I was about two weeks away from having very premature baby boys.  I spent Christmas and New Years in the hospital and the boys were born the night before New Year’s Eve. 

I’m grateful that Matt was able to stay with me in the hospital every night.  I’m grateful that my brother and his girlfriend could stay with Chiara to make this happen.  I’m grateful to the family and friends who visited, sent presents, made phone calls, and kept us in their prayers.  I’m grateful that I got such fabulous care.  And I’m grateful that as the twins approach their first birthday, that they are thriving.

Now it’s time for me to give back.

My niece and I have started a gift drive similar to the Loki Sky and Friends Gift Drive.  Loki Sky and Friends gives gifts to new parents who will spend the holidays in the NICU.  Our gift drive will benefit chemo patients at Grandpa’s hospital in Florida. 

Here’s what we have planned:

For the patients: great tote bags from Bed, Bath & Beyond.  Socks and a snuggly blanket—while supplies last!

For the families of patients and for the doctors and nurses who have provided such great care: A “Tower of Treats,” an assortment of goodies, probably from Target.

All that plus hand made cards from the kids in my niece’s neighborhood.

Wanna be a part of it?  You can.  Here’s how:

We’ve set up a registry at Bed, Bath & Beyond: http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/regGiftRegistry.asp?wrn=-2092630138&

We’re “Michael & Wagner Kovac Christmas Gift Drive.”  The tote bags will be mailed to Grandpa & Grandma.  You can also send gift cards (BB&B or Target) to their address.  Email me if you need the address. 

It’s the best kind of Christmas giving!  Fast, easy, inexpensive, and fits the need. We'd be so honored and grateful if you helped us help others.

Take care and take naps,

the East Bay Kovacs

Ten Bucks

Now that December is here, it’s impossible for me to think about the holidays without remembering what we went through this year. Last year this time going into labor was the furthest thing from my mind. After all, I wasn’t due until April. But life is funny that way. Four days before Christmas I was admitted to the antepartum unit of our neighborhood hospital and stayed there until the twins were born nine days later—at 25 weeks’ 3 days’ gestation.

Talk about your life-changing experiences. How can you thank someone adequately for saving the lives of your children? And how can you help other Moms who haven’t been through the worst of it?

I don’t know either, but I’m trying to find out. I have become the parent liaison for our hospital’s Partnership Council and our hospital’s Family Advisory Council. From time to time I talk to parents in the NICU or moms in antepartum. Just to do what I can to help.

From time to time my husband still bakes cookies for the NICU nurses, even though the boys got out of the hospital seven months ago. On Thanksgiving he cooked a whole turkey along with gravy, potatoes, and asparagus, and for dessert, fresh pineapple. We brought it to the NICU and Matt carved the turkey for the nurses who were working that day. Just as a small way to say thank you.

I’m not the only one looking for a way to give back. In October of 2008, little Loki Sky was born at 24 weeks’ gestation and weighing 1 pound, 5 ounces. He spent his first Christmas in the NICU. In fact, he spent his first four months of life in the NICU. After he went home, his mother Kat became very involved with parent/hospital relations at our Alta Bates NICU (the role that I now have since Kat and Loki and Dad moved back to the Netherlands in August).

Kat knows what it’s like to spend the holidays in the hospital, so last year she started the Loki Sky and Friends Holiday Gift Drive. She raised over $1500 and put together gift baskets for families who were in the NICU over Christmas. (We just missed this party by a week as the boys were born on Dec 30th). You can read all about it here. And if you’d like to give, she’d love to have your donation. Kat is very organized. The site even takes PayPal!

Moms on hospital bed rest are scared, depressed, bored, and uncomfortable. And if they’re in there over Christmas, even when they try to make the best of it, they’re probably still scared, depressed, bored, and uncomfortable. I know; I’ve been there. If you’re a nurse working on Christmas, yes, you get the holiday pay, but it’s still a drag to work on Christmas.

This is why my twelve-year-old niece and I are starting our own gift drive. She and I won’t be together for Christmas; the twins can’t travel during flu season because of their delicate immune systems. It’s a bit tricky, but my niece and I have selected a hospital in Tampa (she will be spending Christmas with her family and my in-laws there in Florida).

My niece has complete creative control. She’ll buy presents for either: Moms on bed rest during Christmas or nurses working on Christmas day. Our gift drive doesn’t have a name (yet) and right now my niece only has one donor (me), so our budget is significantly less than $1500.

Today, just a month before their first birthday, the twins are happy and healthy and chubby. I know you’ve been following on the blog tracking our progress; you’ve shared the ups and felt the downs. Vicariously, our joys have been your joys; our victories have been your victories. Now let your thanks be part of our thanks. If you’d like to help us give back to the nurses who work during the holidays or help us give to the Moms who will have to spend Christmas in the hospital away from their families, we’d love to have your contributions. After all, you’ve supported us this far. Why stop now?

Drop me a line and I’ll tell you how.

Thanks for reading,
janine

Secrets of the Twin Mom

Here’s a secret: I was so afraid that I wouldn’t be able to take care of twins that I actually dreaded the day they would be well enough to come home from the hospital. Terrified to the point of tears. But here’s another secret: twins are awesome. Nothing against the rest of you out there, but if you don’t have twins, you are missing out. And being a twin mom is just about the funnest thing I have ever done (next to performing in Piazza Barberini for Italian television or dancing at McKelligon canyon, but that’s a blog post for another day).

First of all, the bar is set really, really low for twin moms. Wearing two matching shoes? Ate breakfast before 2 p.m.? Bathed yourself and all three kids this week? You are an overachiever!

And twin moms who also have a preschooler are on the short list for sainthood. It’s awesome—because it’s much easier than it looks.

Actually, that’s misleading. It’s not that having twin babies and a three-year-old is so easy, it’s that motherhood—parenthood—is SO hard. On a transition scale, going from no kids to one kid is like going from zero to seventy. Going from one kid to three, however, is not as big a leap as people would think. It’s like a seventy-five.

But because everyone who has kids has at least one kid, (duh!) moms are expected to do all kinds of crazy things. They wake up for every feeding. They drop off and pick up their kids from daycare. They buy baby clothes and wash baby clothes and read bedtime stories. They rock their babies and sing them to sleep. They have jobs. And they do it all themselves.*

* OK OK OK! I KNOW there are Dads out there who step it up—who do dishes and fold clothes and make dinner and drop off at daycare and rock their babies and sing them to sleep. But they also have jobs. Two parents who work in tandem is a better deal than the responsibilities of the single parent, but it’s nothing compared to the help and support that is shown to twin moms (and dads).

It’s like Stone Soup. Maybe it’s just my selective Mommy Memory, but we are getting so much help, that having three kids is easier than when we had just Chiara.

For one, back then I was working thirty hours a week, going to school fulltime, and commuting back and forth to school. Matt was working 40+ hours a week and commuting 80 miles a day. Granted, that’s a lot, but it’s nothing out of the ordinary. What’s out of the ordinary is that now I am not working and Matt is working from home more so that he can be around for the morning shift and be here when Chiara gets home from daycare. What’s out of the ordinary is that my mom came and stayed with us for five months out of the last ten. So I never had to get up to do every feeding. On Wednesdays one of the moms at daycare picks up Chiara and brings her home. So we don’t have to do every drop off and pick up. On Saturdays, Matt takes the whole brood to Nutcracker rehearsal and one of the moms babysits. For free.

Speaking of free, aside from diapers and formula, to date we have purchased: one teether, one ball toy, six baby spoons, (thank you, IKEA) and two high chair trays. Everything else was given to us. Six bags of boys clothes, ages newborn to one year. Blankets, bibs, Stokke Tripp Trap high chairs (two), a crib, two carseats, two different double strollers, a Moby wrap, a second Ergo. Baby hats, crib sheets, bottles, you name it. Free stuff is awesome, absolutely. Also awesome is never having to take inventory of what we need and figure out how to get it. That’s a lot of saved time.

People open doors for the twin mom with a stroller. When was the last time someone did that for a single stroller? Neighbors we barely knew dropped off food because they knew we had twins. On my first flight with the boys, the pilot deplaned and carried on Wagner’s carseat himself. We were actually able to get special passes from TSA so that my family could escort us to the gate. Crazy – take one baby on a plane and you get a dirty look. Take on two and people buy you a drink because they think you could use it.

So we’ve gotten more help. We’ve gotten more free stuff. We’re cut more slack. All this helps us be more organized and efficient with our time. Which gives us more energy to give back to others. It’s crazy. We’ve actually hosted more playdates (read: babysat someone else’s kid) and sleepovers in the last six months than we have in the three years before that. (We have three babysit/playdates next week alone). And since we’re twin parents, we get even more credit!

As Matt likes to joke, “Set expectations low. Exceed expectations.” Well, let me tell you, expectations are set pretty low for the twin mom. The punch line is, because expectations are so low, people help you out. You exceed expectations, impress everybody, and actually have the time and energy to help them out. Amazing, this non-zero sum stuff.

Next up: why taking care of twin boys is easier than taking care of one Chiara, OR Dancing in Piazza Barberini.