A Year After Surgery

Last year today the boys had surgery. It was a fifteen minute “procedure” that involved an incision running along the perimeter of the shoulder blade, gentle push to get the lungs out of the way, and a little metal clamp to solve the whole issue of “an open valve to the heart that should be closed.”

The surgeon and anesthesiologist (who came from Children’s Hospital of Oakland so we didn’t have to take an ambulance transport to them) were about an hour late. I spent that hour with my hands on Michael, giving him “compassionate touch.” Or as I like to think of it, a micro-preemie hug.

I had meant to spend equal time with each twin, but Wagner’s veins kept collapsing. By the time they had a decent open line, we felt he’d been through so much; it was better to let him rest before his surgery.

Michael was always the one who was more agitated during their time in the NICU, so maybe it worked out for the best that I spent more time praying over him than I did over Wagner.

The surgeon performed three surgeries that day, back-to-back-to-back; two in Room 2 and one in Room 3. Matt talked to the mom of the baby in Room 3. She was very young. Had twin girls. I had meant to talk to her, ask her how she was doing. But I didn’t do it that day and before I knew it, her twins were well enough to go home.

Michael went first. When he was done, he was all laid out on the base of his isolette bed, also the cutting table. It was the first time I saw him on a bed, not a in a box.

The nurse asked me, “Would you like to give him a kiss?”

Really? Give him a kiss? What about the germs?

It took a while to find a stool high enough to climb on so that I come down to kiss him from above. I gave him a kiss on the belly. You’d think that my arms would have ached because, up to that point, I still hadn’t been able to hold him, (and still wouldn’t for another week.) But they didn’t. The kiss was enough. A sweet kiss with a golden timbre, a warm rush through my body. Another bonding moment with my baby.

Tub TIme!

Here are some cute pictures from Tub Time; the boys' first bath in the tub together.

Raging Success: The Michael & Wagner Kovac Christmas Gift Drive

‘Twas the week before Christmas and all through the house … were boxes from Bed, Bath & Beyond. There was bubble wrap and packing slips and wrapping paper and handmade cards with messages such as, “Marry Chirstmas [sic]” from kids in Ohio—all evidence that a lot of people had donated to the Michael and Wagner Kovac Christmas Gift Drive--over $1500 in gift cards and blankets and socks like these from BB&B, all Christmas presents for cancer patients at the Moffitt Center in Tampa, Florida, with some gift baskets for the doctors and nurses who care for them.  

My niece (with help from her parents and siblings) wrapped forty-nine socks-and-blankets tote bag combos. Armed with $200 in gift cards and $50 in coupons, she made three trips to BB&B to pick out treats and sweets for the staff on 5th Floor North Side of Moffitt. The final gift card balance was $1.67.

It took nine people to carry all the bags and baskets to the 5th Floor North Side. The Michael and Wagner Kovac Christmas Gift Drive was among other gift drives that handed out presents to cancer patients on the morning of Christmas Eve, but the only one that also brought thank-you gifts for medical staff and caregivers.

In addition to fuzzy socks and cozy blankets and honey roasted peanuts, each gift came with a letter explaining why people from as far away as San Francisco and Italy thought that cancer patients should have fuzzy socks, cozy blankets, and honey roasted peanuts. Be sure to check it out here.

My sister-in-law (who—and I have this on good authority—has an entire wing in Heaven dedicated to her) wears many hats: wise and thoughtful person, wife, mother, chauffeur, Chex-mix Chef Extraordinaire and now, slide-show documentarian. She put together this youtube video so you can get a taste of how the gift drive turned out. Check this out, too. It’s really cool and it thanks all our donors at the end.

I am proud to be her sister-in-law and grateful for all her hard work. I am proud of my awesome niece and grateful for her shrewd eye for bargains and excellent math skills and wiliness to follow-through on the vision. I am proud that so many wonderful friends and family members donated to our cause and I am grateful for their contributions. You guys rock! Especially Jimmy Valdes and Heather Larrick who between the two of them, accounted for nearly half of all the tote bags purchased. I am also grateful to my friend and fellow micro-preemie Mom, Kat whose own gift drive (the Loki Sky's Holiday Gift Drive for Alta Bates NICU) gave me the idea in the first place.

I know December is a crazy month for everyone. Many of you emailed me to say that you supported our cause and wanted to contribute. It’s not too late. Yes, there’s always next year, but you can also give back in a comment here to my sister-in-law CJ and my niece GJ thanking them for making it happen. Without them, this gift drive would have been nothing more than a blog post.

Tote bags with blankets and socks from Bed, Bath & Beyond

(They're now $3 cheaper than they were in Dec.  

Should we stock up for next year?)

UPS was busy

all the little touches

just a sampling

with the gifts for staff

all the loot

The Letter

Here’s the letter that went with the handmade card by kids in Ohio that came with the package that was bought by loving and generous friends and family members who offered some of their reasons for giving.


My name is Janine Kovac. I live in Oakland, California. Last year I spent Christmas and New Year’s in the hospital. I was pregnant with twin boys who were due in April but were born in December instead. The boys spent the next three months in the hospital and my husband and I spent those three months at their bedside.

We had the support of so many of our friends and family, not to mention the support of the wonderful doctors and nurses at our hospital. They saw us through our journey.

Now it is our turn to give back.

Together with one of our nieces, we started “The Michael and Wagner Kovac Christmas Gift Drive,” named after my sons and inaugurated in honor of their grandfather, who is a patient here at Moffitt. Our drive benefits the 5th Floor, North side: patients, families of patients, and doctors and nurses on the 5th Floor. We raised over $1500 from friends and family all over the country: Minnesota, Texas, San Francisco, Chicago, Columbus, Albuquerque, even Italy!


We give because we know what it’s like to be in the hospital during the holidays and we know that even the smallest gesture of goodwill can make a difference.

Here are some of the reasons our friends and family chose to give:

We gave because everyone deserves some holiday cheer!!
Marian Kramer & Eric Sampson
(Marian raised $4000 this summer for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society through Team in Training)


There is so little in life we can control, we can contribute by giving
All the best,
Mims Mathers


We gave because
...everyone deserves fuzzy socks at Christmas!
...my dad is a cancer survivor! So is my aunt! So is my mother-in-law!
-San Francisco mom!

We gave because we are grateful to our community and want to extend it across the country.
In the hopes of bringing you some warmth and smiles,
Daughter of a two-time breast cancer survivor and parents of a brand new baby boy


1) I'm a breast cancer survivor
2) I believe in the power of praying and sharing
and last but not least
3) "It's not the strongest or the smartest of the species that survives, but the ones who can best adapt to change." (Charles Darwin)
Love and Hugs, Aunt Norma


We gave because we know that God doesn't always get us out of something happening in our lives, but He always takes us through everything so that we will always have Hope. Then we can be there for someone else who needs to know he/she will be able to face tomorrow.
Sister of a breast cancer survivor, stomach cancer survivor, and liver cancer survivor.


We gave because we know from experience what it feels like to spend time in the hospital.
Because we know all too well that it is even a little bit more challenging when it is the Holiday Season.
And because we know how "random" acts of friendliness from strangers during these difficult times really cheered us up.
Kathalijn, Jesse and Loki Reynolds


We wanted to donate to support our granddaughter Gen and also for the recovery of our daughter-in-law’s father, a Moffitt patient.
Norma and Wally, Ohio


We gave because…
… because our son, Matt, ran in a Moffitt race last year and had a great time
… because my favorite aunt’s a 2x cancer survivor
… because my niece is a cancer survivor too (but I can't say 'favorite' because her sisters would know!)
… because little things mean so much at Christmas
… because this year, we can afford to give, and in past years we couldn't (yea!)
Someone from the Columbus, Ohio Family


I did it!! This is such a wonderful thing to do!!!!!
Jan, 2 time lymphoma survivor


… because I love my father-in-law
… because my friend’s a cancer survivor—had chemo & surgery and is still just as healthy, strong, and fiery ten years later
… because I wanted to support my niece
… because cancer runs in my family
… because I spent Christmas in the hospital last year
Janine Kovac, Oakland


From our hearts and minds to your toes and feet!
Merry Christmas

Happy Birthday, Boys!

The boys turned 1 today. Our only plans were to go to the hospital and say hello to the staff. We’re regulars at the NICU—I’m around at least once a month for committee meetings, so the doctors and nurses always get the latest news on the twins. It just seemed right to make a victory tour.

In 2009, 7800 babies were born at Alta Bates. You think that they wouldn’t remember us down on the Labor & Delivery floor. You’d be wrong. I think it was the combination of mono-amniotic/mono-chorionic twins plus the births at 25 weeks plus almost-New-Years-Eve. Everyone remembered us. Some even by name.

Our first stop was the nurses in the antepartum ward. The nurses don’t remember me so well (not even as the person who brought chocolate chip cookies on Christmas Eve for the night shift) but they all remembered Matt. Maybe because he spent every night in Antepartum 12 with me. I think he even had his own shelf in the ward’s refrigerator, filling it up with pepper crusted beef and fresh Straus Family milk from Whole Foods—the desperate culinary requests from a pregnant wife.

The first person we saw was the doctor who’d given the boys their Apgar scores. She knew us well. She was the doctor who decided that the boys would have the ligation surgery three weeks after they were born and the doctor who helped us pick a pediatrician. Next we saw my favorite nurse, Mariann, whose grandson is the same adjusted age as the boys.

Everyone said the same thing: “I was just thinking of you today!”

I had called ahead to see if the doctor who delivered the twins was working today. She was. (Actually, there were nine doctors there in the room when the twins were born. Three for each of the boys and three for me.) This doctor was the one who called the shots and wrote up the report.

She was floored to see what the twins looked like a year later. And so happy! You would have thought that I had just given her a check from Publisher’s Clearing House.

“You just made my year,” she told us, more than once. She couldn’t stop smiling.

“We never see this. We know that most of them do pretty well when they go up there [on the 4th floor], but we never know…” she trailed off.

Every once in awhile I do a good deed (like those Christmas Eve cookies—which Matt baked, not me), but the simple act of showing the attending obstetrician that her handiwork resulted in two miracles with stellar health—twins born three months ahead of schedule, one with the umbilical cord wrapped twice around his neck, the other with a knot in his—feels like the best gift I have ever given. Who would have thought.

I’m glad she knows. I’m glad she knows that miracles happen and that she was at the starting line.

Wagner and Michael in their matching Penn State onesies from Cousin Lawrence

Memories of Last Year: Sneaking Suspicions

Last year this time Matt and Chiara were in Tampa. I was at home addressing Christmas cards and watching back-to-back episodes of “Celebrity Rehab.” I was 24 weeks pregnant. I had just finished writing and posting “Survivor Mom,” my most-read blog post in the whole blog,* blithely anticipating the chaos that would ensue following the twins’ arrival.

*I get about a hit a day on this post. Judging by my stats info, it’s getting emailed around. 2nd and 3rd place go to the two posts following “Survivor Mom.” Worth mentioning is that in 4th place, very close behind, is the post on the “Michael & Wagner Kovac Christmas Gift Drive.”

Before they made the trip I called my doctor to make sure it would be OK for my husband to be so far away from me. The nurse laughed to reassure me.

“Don’t worry. You are not going to go into labor at 24 weeks. I mean, never say never, but the chances are so small that I can say it’s just not going to happen.”

She reminded me that my high-risk condition: monoamniotic/monochorionic twins had nothing to do with early labor. The only reason the boys would be born between 28 and 34 weeks—in other words, premature—would be to prevent cord entanglement. But I had absolutely no factors that put me at risk for early labor.

“If anything,” the nurse continued. “You’ll get more rest with your husband and two-year-old away.”
I did get more rest. I went to two holiday parties. I read some books. I started to sort through the six trash bags of baby clothes that folks from the ballet studio had given us.

I was sooooo tired. And sooooo huge. I was starting to feel the babies move, starting recognize one movement as the Red Baby and another as the Blue Baby. And I kept pushing away the thought that I was feeling very much the way I had felt in the weeks leading up to Chiara’s birth. But that was impossible. It had to be my imagination. After all, I was only five and a half months pregnant.

Michael and Wagner Kovac Christmas Gift Drive

Little did I know it, but a year ago today I was about two weeks away from having very premature baby boys.  I spent Christmas and New Years in the hospital and the boys were born the night before New Year’s Eve. 

I’m grateful that Matt was able to stay with me in the hospital every night.  I’m grateful that my brother and his girlfriend could stay with Chiara to make this happen.  I’m grateful to the family and friends who visited, sent presents, made phone calls, and kept us in their prayers.  I’m grateful that I got such fabulous care.  And I’m grateful that as the twins approach their first birthday, that they are thriving.

Now it’s time for me to give back.

My niece and I have started a gift drive similar to the Loki Sky and Friends Gift Drive.  Loki Sky and Friends gives gifts to new parents who will spend the holidays in the NICU.  Our gift drive will benefit chemo patients at Grandpa’s hospital in Florida. 

Here’s what we have planned:

For the patients: great tote bags from Bed, Bath & Beyond.  Socks and a snuggly blanket—while supplies last!

For the families of patients and for the doctors and nurses who have provided such great care: A “Tower of Treats,” an assortment of goodies, probably from Target.

All that plus hand made cards from the kids in my niece’s neighborhood.

Wanna be a part of it?  You can.  Here’s how:

We’ve set up a registry at Bed, Bath & Beyond: http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/regGiftRegistry.asp?wrn=-2092630138&

We’re “Michael & Wagner Kovac Christmas Gift Drive.”  The tote bags will be mailed to Grandpa & Grandma.  You can also send gift cards (BB&B or Target) to their address.  Email me if you need the address. 

It’s the best kind of Christmas giving!  Fast, easy, inexpensive, and fits the need. We'd be so honored and grateful if you helped us help others.

Take care and take naps,

the East Bay Kovacs