tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-82764285123140441812024-02-18T20:42:57.916-08:00Tales From the PodThis is the optimistic chronicle of our triumph at the NICU: monochorionic/monoamniotic twin boys who were born at just 25 weeks' gestation.j9kovachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03914843888423313585noreply@blogger.comBlogger129125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8276428512314044181.post-41832599302980960902012-11-21T07:00:00.000-08:002012-11-21T07:00:02.442-08:00Just Another Day
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Template>Normal.dotm</o:Template>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>255</o:Words>
<o:Characters>1458</o:Characters>
<o:Company>UC Berkeley</o:Company>
<o:Lines>12</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>2</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>1790</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>12.0</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves>false</w:TrackMoves>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>
<w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>
<w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:DontAutofitConstrainedTables/>
<w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
</w:Compatibility>
</w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="276">
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Just when I think Michael’s OCD is just my imagination he
does something crazy. Yesterday he decided to dust under the beds. I’m not
kidding. He and Wagner have toddler-sized brooms and after they swept the hall
they decided to sweep our room. That’s when Michael noticed the colossal piles
of dust under the bed and took out the feather duster. It’s probably not the
right environment for someone with sensitive lungs, but he was so into it!
Granted, he didn’t do a very good job, but of course, I haven’t managed to do
better in the three years we’ve been there and the kid is only two and a half
years old, so I let it go.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Today I gave him a pair of his favorite socks. Last night he
had to put his dirty socks in the hamper.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
‘Those my favorite socks!” he reminded me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’ll wash them tonight and you can wear them tomorrow.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Thank you!” he said with a broad smile. “That would make me
happy.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Meanwhile, Wagner is sitting in a box pretending to be a
kitty cat. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s kind of like that scene in Parenthood where one cousin
speaks Spanish and knows all her square roots and the other cousin likes to put
a bucket on his head and run into the wall. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I must admit that I did not do laundry and wash Michael’s
favorite socks. I was on Facebook. I’d feel guilty about that except that those
aren’t really Michael’s favorite socks. Those white socks are from the Gap and
are size 12-24 months which means they are too short to pull up over his knees.
The socks that are from Children’s Place and are size 3 – 4 pull up over the
knees, just the way he likes them. So the fact that I was able to offer Michael
the socks he really loves instead of the socks he thinks he loves actually made
me feel like a better mother than if I had just done what I said I would. </div>
<!--EndFragment-->j9kovachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03914843888423313585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8276428512314044181.post-74773973739196841172012-11-13T05:00:00.000-08:002012-11-13T05:00:08.485-08:00Last Day to Donate!<br />
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
This is it. The Write On, Mamas Indiegogo <a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.indiegogo.com/write-on-mamas?c=home" href="http://www.indiegogo.com/write-on-mamas?c=home" lj-cmd="LJLink">campaign</a> ends tonight at midnight. Which means that this is the last day of the <a data-cke-saved-href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-1-the-great-write-on-mamas-blog-off/" href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-1-the-great-write-on-mamas-blog-off/" lj-cmd="LJLink">Blog-off</a>. I’ve blogged for each of the 35 days of the campaign and reposted on five different sites: the family <a data-cke-saved-href="http://podtales.blogspot.com/2012/08/dear-chiara-tomorrow-is-your-first-day.html" href="http://podtales.blogspot.com/2012/08/dear-chiara-tomorrow-is-your-first-day.html" lj-cmd="LJLink">blog</a>, <a data-cke-saved-href="http://abandofwives.ning.com/" href="http://abandofwives.ning.com/" lj-cmd="LJLink">A Band of Wives</a>, <a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.shewrites.com/" href="http://www.shewrites.com/" lj-cmd="LJLink">SheWrites</a>, <a data-cke-saved-href="http://writeonmamas.com/" href="http://writeonmamas.com/" lj-cmd="LJLink">Write On, Mamas</a>, and my writing <a data-cke-saved-href="http://j9kovac.livejournal.com/191608.html" href="http://j9kovac.livejournal.com/191608.html" lj-cmd="LJLink">journal</a>.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Here are a few of the things I’ve learned over the last 35 days:</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<b>It feels really good to write every day.</b></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
I had some fun fiction posts in this blog-a-thon. This <a data-cke-saved-href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-8-generous-souls-a-love-story/" href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-8-generous-souls-a-love-story/" lj-cmd="LJLink">one</a> and this <a data-cke-saved-href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-23-jinny-barrish-a-generous-soul/" href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-23-jinny-barrish-a-generous-soul/" lj-cmd="LJLink">one</a> were my favorites. And I got to thank some people in a way that felt both public and private. As in this <a data-cke-saved-href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-9-generous-soul-supermom-kara/" href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-9-generous-soul-supermom-kara/" lj-cmd="LJLink">post</a> and this <a data-cke-saved-href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-25-blog-off-my-aunt-rita-a-generous-soul/" href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-25-blog-off-my-aunt-rita-a-generous-soul/" lj-cmd="LJLink">post</a>.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<b>It pays to go out of your comfort zone.</b></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
I felt so sheepish posting on sites that had were part of a larger community. (Such as SheWrites or ABOW.) I just kept picturing cynical folk glancing at their left sidebar and rolling their eyes at my self-promotional posts. For all I know, cynical folk did roll their eyes, but at least they didn’t email me to let me know about it. Instead I became better acquainted with those saints of the Internet, lovely people such as <a data-cke-saved-href="http://leilaradan.com/leilaradan.com/WOman.html" href="http://leilaradan.com/leilaradan.com/WOman.html" lj-cmd="LJLink">Leila Radan</a>, ABOW's cheif communications officer, who writes a comment on every single blog post on ABOW.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<b>It makes a difference what time of day your blog posts.</b></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
This post will publish to my Facebook timeline at the exact worst time: midnight on the west coast. The best time is mid-to-late afternoon or early evening. That seems to be the time when friends are online and perusing. They comment, they remember. Sometimes they even donate. (Hint, hint).</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<b>Blogging takes up a lot more time than I thought it would.</b></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
This was really this only negative. The writing doesn’t take up much time (and if you’ve been following along these last 34 days, this doesn’t surprise you). But the formatting for different blogs, creating hyperlinks, remembering to tag each post, pretending to know what “SEO” means. I can’t wait to go back to not writing my memoir.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<b>You never know who is reading and nodding and will decide to donate.</b></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Three years ago, I spent Christmas in the hospital. Two years ago, my niece and I put together a <a data-cke-saved-href="http://podtales.blogspot.com/2010/12/michael-and-wagner-kovac-christmas-gift.html" href="http://podtales.blogspot.com/2010/12/michael-and-wagner-kovac-christmas-gift.html" lj-cmd="LJLink">fundraiser</a> to give cozy blankets and fuzzy socks to other patients facing a holiday hospital stay, specifically (Depresser Alert!) terminal cancer patients at the hospital where my father-in-law was treated. We raised $1500. There were many friends and family whom I knew would donate. But there were so many others—random friends to whom I just sent an email to on a whim—who had their own stories and their own reasons for wanting to contribute. I was floored at their generosity.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
This is the last day I’ll bug you. Got an extra Andrew Jackson? Or a handful of AJs? Go <a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.indiegogo.com/write-on-mamas?c=home" href="http://www.indiegogo.com/write-on-mamas?c=home" lj-cmd="LJLink">here</a>. I promise you warm fuzzy feelings if you do.</div>
j9kovachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03914843888423313585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8276428512314044181.post-42764684757280429602012-11-12T05:00:00.000-08:002012-11-12T05:00:09.006-08:00Just Two More Days<br />
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
I love my Mamas!</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Sunday, November 11<sup>th</sup> was our monthly Scribbles & Sips event at the <a data-cke-saved-href="http://ohanloncenter.org/" href="http://ohanloncenter.org/" lj-cmd="LJLink">O’Hanlon Center for the Arts</a>. We had a good group—about 16 Mamas turned out to hear <a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.rachelsarah.com/" href="http://www.rachelsarah.com/" lj-cmd="LJLink">Rachel Sarah</a> discuss the challenges of putting our loved ones on the printed page. We also snatched up copies of Rachel’s book <i><a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/1580051669?tag=httpwwwsing02-20&camp=14573&creative=327641&linkCode=as1&creativeASIN=1580051669&adid=08AH1M9FB3HQFQ57GVX5&&ref-refURL=http%3A%2F%2Fsinglemomseeking.com%2Fblog%2F" href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/1580051669?tag=httpwwwsing02-20&camp=14573&creative=327641&linkCode=as1&creativeASIN=1580051669&adid=08AH1M9FB3HQFQ57GVX5&&ref-refURL=http%3A%2F%2Fsinglemomseeking.com%2Fblog%2F" lj-cmd="LJLink">Single Mom Seeking</a>.</i></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
We also talk about our writing projects, the <a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.indiegogo.com/write-on-mamas" href="http://www.indiegogo.com/write-on-mamas" lj-cmd="LJLink">Indiegogo campaign</a>, our <a data-cke-saved-href="http://writeonmamas.com/events/" href="http://writeonmamas.com/events/" lj-cmd="LJLink">December party</a>. There are exciting events on the horizon—a <a data-cke-saved-href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-15-cary-tennis-part-ii/" href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-15-cary-tennis-part-ii/" lj-cmd="LJLink">writing retreat</a> in January and possibly another one in June. Of course we have our monthly meetings. I’m still working on some kind of weekly practice for the group.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Last year this time we met in conference room at the back of bookstore and we had just gotten word that we’d need to find a new venue for meetings. And a new name. And a new website.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
So we did. And here we are. Thirty members strong. We’ve got an online community through <a data-cke-saved-href="https://www.bigtent.com/groups/writeonmamas" href="https://www.bigtent.com/groups/writeonmamas" lj-cmd="LJLink">Big Tent</a>, a <a data-cke-saved-href="https://www.facebook.com/WriteOnMamas?fref=ts" href="https://www.facebook.com/WriteOnMamas?fref=ts" lj-cmd="LJLink">Facebook page</a>, a <a data-cke-saved-href="http://writeonmamas.com/" href="http://writeonmamas.com/" lj-cmd="LJLink">website</a>. Three of our mamas went to the <a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.squawvalleywriters.org/" href="http://www.squawvalleywriters.org/" lj-cmd="LJLink">Squaw Valley Community of Writers</a>. We read at <a data-cke-saved-href="http://litcrawl.org/sf/" href="http://litcrawl.org/sf/" lj-cmd="LJLink">Lit Crawl</a>. We even have matching <a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.cafepress.com/writeonmamas" href="http://www.cafepress.com/writeonmamas" lj-cmd="LJLink">t-shirts</a>.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
And now we’re going to publish an anthology.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
It’s not to late to donate to the cause. Our campaign doesn’t end until Tuesday at midnight. At that point, we’ll collect the funds we’ve earned and pay a percentage to Indiegogo. Last week a small press that was already familiar with some of our writers learned about our new project. We’ll be meeting soon to see how we might join forces.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
It was a good year. And not over yet! What will December bring?</div>
j9kovachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03914843888423313585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8276428512314044181.post-4530890007306107522012-11-11T05:00:00.000-08:002012-11-11T13:35:24.976-08:00Three Days Left!<br />
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<i>Only three days left of the Indiegogo <a href="http://www.indiegogo.com/write-on-mamas?c=home" target="_blank">campaign</a> to help fund our <a href="http://writeonmamas.com/" target="_blank">Write On, Mamas</a> anthology!</i></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
“This is me in the rain and I’m smiling,” my five-year-old says about the stick figure with blue circles for eyes and red circles for hands.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
“And this is Grandpa in the place that dead people go. And he’s underground. This is his tombstone.” She points to a little orange rectangle. A double arrow connects the little orange rectangle to a big, smiling stick figure in a big brown rectangle. There are crosses on either side of Grandpa’s head.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Thinking inside my Mama-skin, I conclude that my daughter’s self-portrait with Grandpa is an idea that had bubbled to the surface, instigated by the <i>altarcito </i>her kindergarten class made for the Day of the Dead. Nothing more.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
But I file the idea away for a time when I write about a good man who has passed into the Afterlife, a man who watches over this wife of the last forty-seven years, trying to send her messages of comfort from beyond. He hangs out in the corners of rooms trying to get someone—anyone—to deliver a message to his wife, but everyone—his four grown children, their spouses, eleven grandchildren, including two grandsons who share his name—nobody takes notice.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Then one day he whispers to one of his granddaughters. She thinks it was her idea to pick up the crayons and draw a cemetery in the rain. She’ll show the picture to her grandmother when she comes to visit at Thanksgiving.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Grandma covers her mouth and puts her other hand on her heart.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
j9kovachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03914843888423313585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8276428512314044181.post-85278627926777026402012-11-10T05:00:00.000-08:002012-11-10T05:00:00.659-08:00Four More Days<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Template>Normal.dotm</o:Template>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>324</o:Words>
<o:Characters>1852</o:Characters>
<o:Company>UC Berkeley</o:Company>
<o:Lines>15</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>3</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>2274</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>12.0</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves>false</w:TrackMoves>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>
<w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>
<w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:DontAutofitConstrainedTables/>
<w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
</w:Compatibility>
</w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="276">
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<b>Nine months ago</b> we said, “Hey! Let’s publish an anthology of our essays!”</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<b>Eight months ago</b> we found an agent who said, “I can help you do that.”</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<b>Seven months ago we</b> put out a call for submissions and set a deadline for the first drafts. We planned to self-publish something by the end of the year.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<b>Four months ago</b> we broke into groups and exchanged feedback on our work and set a deadline for second drafts, which is when we realized we could use this opportunity to become better writers. We could raise the money we needed to hire the editors we wanted to shape a book we could be proud of.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<b>Three months ago</b> we met with a professional editor. We researched fundraising platforms. We talked to other folks who’d had successful online campaigns. We added up our editorial costs, our printing costs, the cost for a graphic designer.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<b>Two months ago</b> our website went live and we started posting our content. We made a video. We wrote a mission statement.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<b>One month ago</b> we started our <a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.indiegogo.com/write-on-mamas?c=pledges&a=1575338" href="http://www.indiegogo.com/write-on-mamas?c=pledges&a=1575338" lj-cmd="LJLink">Indiegogo campaign</a>.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
We’ve got three days to go before our campaign is over. At the time I’m writing this, we’ve got $5734 in contributions, plus some publishing leads that might make up for the fact that we’re going to miss our mark.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
$5734.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<i>Look what you’ve done! That’s pretty good! </i>the voices say. <i>High fives all around! </i><i>You should be very proud that you’ve done this well. Don't be too disappointed that you won’t hit your fundraising goal,</i> the voices add. <i>You’ve done a good-enough job. You can stop.</i></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
I get this feeling every night when I sit down to write. It’s late. I’m tired. And besides, look what I did yesterday and the day before that! I pretend it’s ok that I’m not pushing myself to write. But since it’s easier to think of something to write than it is to think up excuses, eventually I write.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Which means that I’ll keep writing and posting and tweeting for the campaign. Maybe you’ve been reading and thinking but waiting to contribute. Maybe today’s the day you click to donate. Maybe we’ll get closer to our financial goal.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Or maybe you didn't even make it to the end of this post. Maybe you gave up reading after the second paragraph.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
That doesn’t matter. What matters is that I didn’t give up.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Three more days.</div>
<br />
<!--EndFragment-->j9kovachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03914843888423313585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8276428512314044181.post-3631386299880500112012-11-09T05:00:00.000-08:002012-11-09T05:00:02.696-08:00Five Days Left!<br />
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<i>I’ve written about this before: Pat Schneider’s Artist and Writer’s <a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.patschneider.com/" href="http://www.patschneider.com/" lj-cmd="LJLink">Method</a> and the workshop facilitated by <a data-cke-saved-href="http://carytennis.com" href="http://carytennis.com/" lj-cmd="LJLink">Cary Tennis</a>. I go on Thursday nights. A prompt is given. We write for twenty minutes or so. Those who decide to share, read what they’ve written. We reflect back—sharing what stays with us, what we see. </i><i>Cary is hosting our first Write On, Mamas <a data-cke-saved-href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-15-cary-tennis-part-ii/" href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-15-cary-tennis-part-ii/" lj-cmd="LJLink">retreat</a>, January 27, 2013 at the <a data-cke-saved-href="http://ohanloncenter.org/" href="http://ohanloncenter.org/" lj-cmd="LJLink">O’Hanlon Center of the Arts</a>. Email programs [at] writeonmamas [dot] com for more information.</i></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<i><br /><br />This is what I wrote tonight for the first prompt: “write about the death of a real or imagined person.”</i></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
There’s a tribe of Native Americans who practiced a custom in which the mother to carried her stillborn baby until his soul was safely transferred to the other side. The vital organs were removed and replaced with grass and she’d carry the tiny corpse in a sling that she wore night and day.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
I know why this is so.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
We always talk about the soul as if it is something that resides on the inside of a person’s skin. But really one’s soul is the radiance that is emitted, like rays of sun. And so a mother carries a child for nine months and his rays roll together with his mother’s, like sea air and the night fog. When he is born, he takes some of her radiance with him. And if he dies before he grows into his spirit, his mother needs to hold the body until she can reabsorb his soul back into her skin.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
There are parts of the corporal body that are not matter.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
This is what pulls Diana's shoulders to the ground, why she slouches. Why there is no color in her face. Why her jaw is weighted and drags down the corners of her mouth. They buried part of her soul when they put that little body in its coffin. They trapped it in that little pine box. On Sundays she goes to visit that bucolic place with the green hills and the large oak tree. Wisps of hemlock green waft into the air, like smoke escaping from a smoldering church. They find their way back into her body—through her ears, her nostrils, the pores on cheeks, the hair on her arms. She drinks in this lost life—not his, but hers.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
This grieving process would have healed much more quickly had they just let her carry a corpse with a ribcage full of straw.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
j9kovachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03914843888423313585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8276428512314044181.post-89005270810647774702012-11-08T08:00:00.000-08:002012-11-09T00:09:59.822-08:00Six Days Left! (or five, I can't count)<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Template>Normal.dotm</o:Template>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>136</o:Words>
<o:Characters>779</o:Characters>
<o:Company>UC Berkeley</o:Company>
<o:Lines>6</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>1</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>956</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>12.0</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves>false</w:TrackMoves>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>
<w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>
<w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:DontAutofitConstrainedTables/>
<w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
</w:Compatibility>
</w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="276">
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is not a parable. This is just something that happened
to me in the last year and changed the way I behaved in my marriage. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had this turning point in which I became aware of how
often I blamed Matt. The recycling container is full. Yesterday’s mail is all
over the dresser—along with the mail from the day before that and the day
before that. The clothes are still in the dryer. Chiara has gone to bed too
late. And on and on and on because Matt, let me tell you, is constantly fucking
up. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then one day—somehow because of something Gretchen Rubin
said, something I can’t even remember now because I don’t want to give her
credit for anything—one day I said to myself, “I am going to take out the
recycling.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And the next day I said to myself, “I am going to sort
yesterday’s mail. And the mail from the day before that and the day before
that.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And the day after that I said to Matt, “I need to fold
clothes. Will you help me?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->j9kovachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03914843888423313585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8276428512314044181.post-20647604877324644582012-11-07T05:00:00.000-08:002012-11-08T15:26:51.283-08:00One Week Left!<!--[if !mso]>
<style>
v\:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);}
o\:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);}
w\:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);}
.shape {behavior:url(#default#VML);}
</style>
<![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Template>Normal.dotm</o:Template>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>248</o:Words>
<o:Characters>1416</o:Characters>
<o:Company>UC Berkeley</o:Company>
<o:Lines>11</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>2</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>1738</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>12.0</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves>false</w:TrackMoves>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>
<w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>
<w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:DontAutofitConstrainedTables/>
<w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
</w:Compatibility>
</w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="276">
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Last year we visited Grandma for the holidays. <!--[if gte vml 1]><v:shapetype id="_x0000_t75"
coordsize="21600,21600" o:spt="75" o:preferrelative="t" path="m@4@5l@4@11@9@11@9@5xe"
filled="f" stroked="f">
<v:stroke joinstyle="miter"/>
<v:formulas>
<v:f eqn="if lineDrawn pixelLineWidth 0"/>
<v:f eqn="sum @0 1 0"/>
<v:f eqn="sum 0 0 @1"/>
<v:f eqn="prod @2 1 2"/>
<v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelWidth"/>
<v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelHeight"/>
<v:f eqn="sum @0 0 1"/>
<v:f eqn="prod @6 1 2"/>
<v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelWidth"/>
<v:f eqn="sum @8 21600 0"/>
<v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelHeight"/>
<v:f eqn="sum @10 21600 0"/>
</v:formulas>
<v:path o:extrusionok="f" gradientshapeok="t" o:connecttype="rect"/>
<o:lock v:ext="edit" aspectratio="t"/>
</v:shapetype><v:shape id="Picture_x0020_2" o:spid="_x0000_i1025" type="#_x0000_t75"
alt="http://www.writingmamas.com/wp-includes/js/tinymce/plugins/wordpress/img/trans.gif"
style='width:1pt;height:1pt;visibility:visible;mso-wrap-style:square'>
<v:imagedata src="file://localhost/Users/janinek/Library/Caches/TemporaryItems/msoclip/0/clip_image001.gif"
o:title="//www.writingmamas.com/wp-includes/js/tinymce/plugins/wordpress/img/trans.gif"/>
<v:textbox style='mso-rotate-with-shape:t'/>
</v:shape><![endif]--><!--[if !vml]--><img alt="http://www.writingmamas.com/wp-includes/js/tinymce/plugins/wordpress/img/trans.gif" height="3" src="file://localhost/Users/janinek/Library/Caches/TemporaryItems/msoclip/0/clip_image002.png" v:shapes="Picture_x0020_2" width="3" /><!--[endif]--></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
This is what I love about Grandma’s house. The day we arrived she said,
“Nothing is breakable in this house that will be missed.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Which is good because seven minutes after she said that, the
twins started fencing with the candles from the centerpiece.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On Christmas Eve she said to my four-year-old, “Let’s bake a
birthday cake for Jesus! Shall we bake a yellow cake or a chocolate cake?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When my daughter dropped the open bag of yellow cake mix all
over the kitchen floor, Grandma didn’t skip a beat.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Well! I guess we’ll make a chocolate cake!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When the boys banged on the piano, she said, “Look how much
fun they’re having!”--a phrase she repeated when the boys tried to lick the
dogs.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After a long day at the museum, Grandma calmed our
over-stimulated and cranky kids with the magic words: “When we get home, let’s
have hot chocolate.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When one of my sons came down with a fever and suspicious
spots, she said, “This is the number of a really good urgent care center.” Two
days later when the other son had a fever she said, “I can go to the pharmacy
for you.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I was busy attending to the sick boys, she read books
to my daughter. When I was busy on the phone she put the twins on her lap and
watched Elmo videos on youtube with them. She played the movie "My Fair
Lady" for the oldest grandchild ("I just know you'll love the
costumes," she told her) and walked the dogs with the youngest grandchild.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And when I alluded to the noise level in the living room—the
combination of laughing, crying, screaming, and that dancing chipmunk who sings
the Macarena—as chaos, Grandma shrugged.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“That’s what families sound like,” she said.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thanks, Grandma.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->j9kovachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03914843888423313585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8276428512314044181.post-65991980314647555662012-11-06T05:00:00.000-08:002012-11-06T05:00:06.777-08:008 Days Left!<br />
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">
What I want to remember about today:</div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">
I want to remember that the twins haven’t adjusted to the time change yet. They pitter-pattered into the room and snuggled with us. Michael stroked my forehead.</div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">
I want to remember that William insisted on wearing his sister’s old ballet shoes to bed last night. And we let him.</div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">
I want to remember that one boy wore his fireman’s helmet and the other wore his Easter Sunday fedora.</div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">
“You’re a fireman!” I told him.</div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">
“No. I’m just pretending to be a fireman,” he replied.</div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">
I want to remember that we woke up early enough to put hair in braids. I don’t want to remember that it’s because there’s a lice scare at school.</div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">
I want to remember that we waved to the garbage collectors.</div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">
I want to remember that the whole family drove 100 miles for a forty-five minute Little Angel rehearsal. We had a picnic on the tables outside Safeway. Matt brought cloth napkins and plastic cutlery for everyone.</div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">
I want to remember that we started a new game: someone yells out a word and the kindergartner tries to guess what letter it starts with.</div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">
“Nose!”</div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">
“N!”</div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">
“Cowboy boots!”</div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">
“K!”</div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">
I want to remember that the twins started finishing each other’s sentences and that they played tee-ball in the driveway with Daddy.</div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">
That the “Naked Parade” is getting shorter and shorter each night.</div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">
That our new lullaby is “Take Me Out to the Ballgame.”</div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">
I want to remember that it took me a very long time to settle down and write tonight, but I eventually got there.</div>
j9kovachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03914843888423313585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8276428512314044181.post-74431779873246983612012-11-05T05:00:00.000-08:002012-11-05T05:00:14.612-08:00Day 28 Blog-off: NINE Days Left!<br />
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Nine days left? Eight days? I’m confused. This is the 28<sup>th</sup> day of the Blog-off of a <a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.indiegogo.com/write-on-mamas?a=1575338" href="http://www.indiegogo.com/write-on-mamas?a=1575338" lj-cmd="LJLink">campaign</a> that’s only 35 days long with either nine or eight days to go. Somewhere, someone’s math is off.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Today’s Generous Soul post is an Open Apology to Cleo, my downstairs neighbor. Written in haiku, because I’m versatile like that (and I want to show that I can count a little bit.)</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Dear Cleo,</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
We are so grateful<br />
Five pairs of feet can be so loud<br />
Even on tiptoe</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
We forget to help<br />
You take out the trash for us<br />
Every Tuesday night</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
When you go camping<br />
We feed fresh food to your cats<br />
Hoping to clear slate</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
And now you have twins<br />
We wait to return favor<br />
They are so quiet</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
With our used onesies<br />
Maybe we can make amends<br />
Thank you, The Kovacs</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
j9kovachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03914843888423313585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8276428512314044181.post-56056768639396724242012-11-04T05:00:00.000-08:002012-11-04T05:00:05.246-08:00The Blog-off: Only 10 Days Left!<br />
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
I’ve started three different posts for today’s <a data-cke-saved-href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-1-the-great-write-on-mamas-blog-off/" href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-1-the-great-write-on-mamas-blog-off/" lj-cmd="LJLink">Blog-off</a>. I keep scratching over my words. One potential post was a continuation of <a data-cke-saved-href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-26-blog-off-nina-abnee-a-generous-soul/" href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-26-blog-off-nina-abnee-a-generous-soul/" lj-cmd="LJLink">yesterday’s post</a>. I’ve been reading <a data-cke-saved-href="http://silverboomerbooks.com/sbb/wp/our-books/on-our-own/" href="http://silverboomerbooks.com/sbb/wp/our-books/on-our-own/" lj-cmd="LJLink"><i>On Our Own: Widowhood for Smarties</i></a>. I keep putting it down to digest what I’ve read. Then ten minutes later I pick it up again because I’m hungry for more. That made me feel grateful for what I have and that made me want to blog about Thursday when the <a data-cke-saved-href="http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/" href="http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/" lj-cmd="LJLink">Greater Good Science Center</a> asked me to come and film <a data-cke-saved-href="http://sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com/video/7916420-healthwatch-gratitude-journal-helps-many-enjoy-life/" href="http://sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com/video/7916420-healthwatch-gratitude-journal-helps-many-enjoy-life/" lj-cmd="LJLink">a segment about gratitude</a>.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
And that made me think of the <a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.thnx4.org/" href="http://www.thnx4.org/" lj-cmd="LJLink">online gratitude journal</a> they have that is part gratitude journal/part data collection. (It’s different from <a data-cke-saved-href="http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/raising_happiness/post/gratitude_journal_happy_halloween1" href="http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/raising_happiness/post/gratitude_journal_happy_halloween1" lj-cmd="LJLink">this gratitude journal</a> that is also part of the Greater Good Science Center.)</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
And that made me think of my gratitude for the day, which is that I am grateful for the "book rate" at the post office. What a fabulous idea that I always took for granted until I was in the habit of mailing books. And what a lovely bias towards books and learning!</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
I mean, think about it! To value the shipping of books over, say, regular consumer goods. Somebody said, "We need to make it cheaper to mail books. Otherwise people will have a disincentive to mail books. We must make it cheaper to mail books!" (I was mailing <a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13591241-sh-tty-mom" href="http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13591241-sh-tty-mom" lj-cmd="LJLink">this book</a> and <a data-cke-saved-href="http://nothingbutthetruth.com/" href="http://nothingbutthetruth.com/" lj-cmd="LJLink">this book</a>.) </div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">But the real reason I have started three blog po</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">sts<span style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px;"> (</span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 19px;">but haven't finished any of them) </span>is because I</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"> am tired. I am tired of writing. I am tired of cutting and pasting posts to different blogs. Quite frankly, I am a little tired of pitching </span><a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.indiegogo.com/write-on-mamas?c=home&a=1575338" href="http://www.indiegogo.com/write-on-mamas?c=home&a=1575338" lj-cmd="LJLink" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">the Indiegogo thing</a><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"> and </span><a data-cke-saved-href="http://writeonmamas.com/" href="http://writeonmamas.com/" lj-cmd="LJLink" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">the Write On, Mamas</a><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"> anthology. We’ve done well enough so far, right? We’re 35% funded. That’s more than what we had 27 days ago. I can stop, right?</span></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
This is the hump. The place where suddenly all kinds of valid reasons and plausible rationalizations grow into giant robot-people. The giant robot-people stomp through your brain and crush your will power. They pee on your self-discipline, which makes it rusty. I’m not making this up.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
The giant robot-people come by my house a lot. So I know how to deal with them. You admit that you are tired and you write anyway. You gripe a little and then you cut and paste and share links. You sigh. Maybe you have a glass of wine. The giant robot-people don’t go away, but at least you keep your will power and your self-discipline. And if you’re lucky, while you’re writing you’ll come up with an image—like giant robots peeing on abstract ideas—and you’ll say, “Hey! I like that. I can go to bed now.”</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
j9kovachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03914843888423313585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8276428512314044181.post-79710589622459391462012-11-03T05:00:00.000-07:002012-11-03T05:00:04.051-07:00Day 26 Blog-off: Nina Abnee, A Generous Soul<br />
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<i>If you’ve been following along at home, then you already know why this is Day 26—because it’s the 26<sup>th</sup> day of our <a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.indiegogo.com/write-on-mamas?c=home&a=1575338" href="http://www.indiegogo.com/write-on-mamas?c=home&a=1575338" lj-cmd="LJLink">Indiegogo campaign</a> and I’ve committed to write <a data-cke-saved-href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-1-the-great-write-on-mamas-blog-off/" href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-1-the-great-write-on-mamas-blog-off/" lj-cmd="LJLink">one blog post a day</a> for each of the drive. And you already know what our Indiegogo campaign is—it’s our fundraising campaign to craft and publish an anthology of our work by Write On, Mamas. And of course, you don’t even need me to remind you who the <a data-cke-saved-href="http://writeonmamas.com/" href="http://writeonmamas.com/" lj-cmd="LJLink">Write On, Mamas are</a>—a group of awesome mamas (and one papa) who write. And read—such as here at <a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLK4pXlPiHsZxGp1tXeUzKBNdpbTksZhdl" href="http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLK4pXlPiHsZxGp1tXeUzKBNdpbTksZhdl" lj-cmd="LJLink">Lit Crawl</a>. And listen—such as here at our <a data-cke-saved-href="http://writeonmamas.com/events/" href="http://writeonmamas.com/events/" lj-cmd="LJLink">monthly events</a>.</i></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<i>And if you know all of that you know that I try to write a “<a data-cke-saved-href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-25-blog-off-my-aunt-rita-a-generous-soul/" href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-25-blog-off-my-aunt-rita-a-generous-soul/" lj-cmd="LJLink">generous soul</a>” for all my wonderful friend and family who donate to the cause.</i></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Today’s Generous Soul post goes out to Nina Abnee (<a data-cke-saved-href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-24-blog-off-louise-abnee-a-generous-soul/" href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-24-blog-off-louise-abnee-a-generous-soul/" lj-cmd="LJLink">Louise Abnee’s</a> mother).</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
I got my copy in the mail today—Nina’s anthology <a data-cke-saved-href="http://silverboomerbooks.com/sbb/wp/for-writers/on-our-own/" href="http://silverboomerbooks.com/sbb/wp/for-writers/on-our-own/" lj-cmd="LJLink"><i>On Our Own: Widowhood for Smarties</i></a>.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
I love anthologies. They’re like a potluck dinners. Everyone brings something to the table—something uniquely him or her. I know editors agonize over the order of the essays in an anthology, but to me, the wonderful thing about collection is that you can just read where the book opens. Today this essay or that essay. Each one is a separate dish.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
The book, as the title suggests, is about life after loss. It’s not like a potluck dinner; it’s like a box of truffles. Even though the topic is death, each essay is so full of...life. They are about love and longing and these brief moments in time where exposed souls connect, not just in life but in afterlife. Those moments—these essays—are like electricity.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Love. Grief. Gratitude. Depth. Words that remind us that love is deeper than death.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Thank you for your words, Nina.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
j9kovachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03914843888423313585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8276428512314044181.post-69409280945627335652012-11-02T05:00:00.000-07:002012-11-02T05:00:16.226-07:00Day 25 Blog-off: Aunt Rita, A Generous Soul<br />
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Today’s Generous Soul post is about Aunt Rita. Everyone needs an Aunt Rita.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
When the twins were a day old, my husband’s Aunt Rita sent an edible bouquet to the doctors and nurses who took care of them. Rita claims that it was just an ordinary flower arrangement, but the nurses described luscious blossoms cut from pineapples. They swear that they had never seen anything like it. They still gush about the bouquet that was devoured in twenty minutes.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Why would anyone bother to thank people for doing their jobs? I wondered. I wouldn’t have bothered. Not on Day One in the NICU when the boys still had a hundred more days to go.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
I was the mother who wasn’t ready to care yet, the one dancing in the “why bother” space. I didn’t stay there, of course. NICU life is too demanding. One moment you are carefully cultivating emotional distance, the next you are in awe of the wonders of technology and the strength of tiny humans. Then a machine with flashing lights beeps. Panic and confusion attack the room like emotional ghosts. Finally, the machines stop beeping and your son starts breathing, turning you back again to awe.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Rita’s bouquet did not affect the way the doctors and nurses cared for my babies. It did, however establish the nurses’ perception of me. They saw me as gracious, generous, and optimistic. They saw me as a mother from those urban legends who lifts cars to rescue her children and never has a shred of doubt. The one who notices everything and appreciates everyone.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
They mistook me for my aunt. </div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
We imagine that our identities get molded in our minds and that’s what we project as we traipse about in the world. But in actuality, our identities are formed for us. What people believe about you shapes who you become.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
I was set to start each day in the “why bother” place and ready to retreat back into it each evening. But because Rita’s gift arrived in the NICU before I did, no one ever treated me as if I were a mother who could not yet care. And so I never acted like one. </div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
</div>
<i>Friendly reminder—we have two weeks left of our <a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.indiegogo.com/write-on-mamas?c=home&a=1575338" href="http://www.indiegogo.com/write-on-mamas?c=home&a=1575338" lj-cmd="LJLink">Indiegogo campaign</a>. We’re collecting funds to <a data-cke-saved-href="http://writeonmamas.com/write-on-mamas-launch-indiegogo-fundraising-campaign-to-support-anthology-book-project/" href="http://writeonmamas.com/write-on-mamas-launch-indiegogo-fundraising-campaign-to-support-anthology-book-project/" lj-cmd="LJLink">self-publish an anthology</a> of our work. Most of the funds we raise will go to an editor to help us shaper our stories. Then of course, there’s the graphic designer for the cover, the print costs, <a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.cafepress.com/writeonmamas" href="http://www.cafepress.com/writeonmamas" lj-cmd="LJLink">t-shirts</a> for all you $125-level donors. The funds that are left over will help cover our costs for becoming a 501c3 nonprofit organization. If we make our goal, we pay a small percentage to Indiegogo for helping raise funds in the first place. However, if we don’t make our goal, Indiegogo doubles their cut. We did a careful analysis of how much we needed and how much we could raise from friends and family and lovely people such as yourselves.</i><br />
<br />
<i>But as you can see... we are not quite there yet! Click <a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.indiegogo.com/write-on-mamas?c=home&a=1575338" href="http://www.indiegogo.com/write-on-mamas?c=home&a=1575338" lj-cmd="LJLink">here</a> to help us reach our goal!</i><br />
<br />
j9kovachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03914843888423313585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8276428512314044181.post-51667756115261768952012-11-01T05:00:00.000-07:002012-11-02T00:01:03.352-07:00Day 24 Blog-off: Louise Abnee, A Generous Soul<br />
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<i>Today’s <a data-cke-saved-href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-23-jinny-barrish-a-generous-soul/" href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-23-jinny-barrish-a-generous-soul/" lj-cmd="LJLink">Generous Soul</a> is Louise Abnee. The image of Louise that is burned in my brain is a picture of her in her crimson red bridal saree. She’s stunning in it. She’s wearing a flower garland that looks like a lei on steroids and like any bride (well, many brides) she is beaming.</i></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<i>Inspired by my fellow <a data-cke-saved-href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-10-my-tuesday-sisters/" href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-10-my-tuesday-sisters/" lj-cmd="LJLink">Tuesday Sister</a>, I imagine Louise 70 years from now, sitting in an armchair by the window waiting for her adult granddaughter to visit. On the end table next to her chair is a collection of holograms (because photographs 70 years from now will be all holograms, don’t you know). One of the holograms is of Louise and Mayank on their wedding day.</i></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<i>From across the street, the granddaughter gets out of car. She locks eyes with Louise. The rest of the post is written from the granddaughter’s point of view.</i></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
My Grandma had one story she would tell over and over again—the story of the girl and the starfish. A young girl is walking with her father along the beach. Hundreds of starfish have washed up on the shore. The girl picks up a starfish and throws it back into the ocean.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
“Sweetie,” the father says. “Look how many starfish there are. Throwing one starfish back isn’t going to make any difference.”</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
“It made a difference to that one,” the little girl tells her father.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
I loved this story. This was my grandma’s story. And when I would stay over at her house, she would tell me about the little girl and the beach full of starfish, sprinkling it with new details every time. Sometimes it was summer and the girl and her father were walking back to the house to make lemonade. Sometimes it was fall. Sometimes there was an adjunct anecdote about a dog and its footprints. But the tale always ended with the little girl telling her father, “It made a difference to that one.”</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
I walk up the stairs to the house and unlock the door. When Grandma sees me, she smiles with her whole face.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
"Who did you save today?" she asks with a wink and a grin.<br />
<br />
<i>In case you haven’t been paying attention, the “Blog-off” is my way of giving during our <a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.indiegogo.com/write-on-mamas?c=home&a=1575338" href="http://www.indiegogo.com/write-on-mamas?c=home&a=1575338" lj-cmd="LJLink">Indiegogo fundraiser</a>. I’ve pledged to write a blog post a day (minimum 100 words) for each day of the campaign. Then I decided to take it a step further and write a “Generous Soul” post for each friend or member of my family who donates to the cause. (“The cause” is publishing a collection of essays by our <a data-cke-saved-href="http://writeonmamas.com/" href="http://writeonmamas.com/" lj-cmd="LJLink">Write On, Mamas</a>)</i></div>
j9kovachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03914843888423313585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8276428512314044181.post-79763722783007405132012-10-31T05:00:00.000-07:002012-10-31T05:00:00.815-07:00Day 23 Blog-off: Jinny Barrish, A Generous Soul<br />
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Today’s <a data-cke-saved-href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-22-my-aunt-cathy-a-generous-soul/" href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-22-my-aunt-cathy-a-generous-soul/" lj-cmd="LJLink">Generous Soul</a> goes out to Jinny Barrish. (Remember? The <a data-cke-saved-href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-1-the-great-write-on-mamas-blog-off/" href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-1-the-great-write-on-mamas-blog-off/" lj-cmd="LJLink">Indiegogo Campaign</a>? So we can publish our book? You can be a generous soul, too! <a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.indiegogo.com/write-on-mamas?c=home&a=1575338" href="http://www.indiegogo.com/write-on-mamas?c=home&a=1575338" lj-cmd="LJLink">CLICK HERE</a>.)</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Laura Tompkins was born Geraldine “Jinny” Barrish in 1915 in El Paso, Texas. Her father was a railroader, her mother raised goats in the back yard and gave milk to all the little kids who passed by on their way to school.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Jinny was a cute little kid with huge green eyes and a wicked smile. And she loved to dance. So in 1932 Jinny packed her suitcase and boarded a train headed for Hollywood. She’d never been west of the Rio Grande and she didn’t know a salad fork from a pitchfork, but right from the get-go, Jinny landed on her feet.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
“Darling, are you traveling alone?” asked an elderly woman swathed in fur as the train rattled its way across the Arizona desert. Her son, a gangly fellow with a long chin, sat next to them reading the newspaper.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Jinny nodded shyly and offered the woman and her son some goat’s milk.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
“I’m going to Hollywood,” Jinny squeaked. “I like to dance.”</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
“Fritzy! Did you hear that? I think you should help this young lady. Show her around.” Then to Jinny she said proudly, “Fritzy is going to Hollywood to film a movie. <i>The Gay Divorc</i><i>é.</i> I’m sure he can find a part for you doing something, won’t you, Fritzy?”</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
And that’s how Jinny Barrish, fresh from Texas, met Fred Astaire.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
“You’ll need a new name, of course,” he told her as he helped her off the train. “How about...Laura? Laura Tompkins. You look like a Laura.”</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Laura Tompkins spent the 1930’s as a chorus girl in several MGM movies. Don’t look for her in IMDB, however. She was fired from every picture. She just couldn’t stay line. In fact, the only reason she kept getting hired was Fred Astaire’s promise to his mother.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
A failure on the silver screen, Laura was Hollywood hit at the parties. Mary Pickford never threw a party without Laura on the guest list. Laura would sit on pianos and belt out “Home on the Range.”</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Other notable things about my friend Jinny Barrish:</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
She and Lauren Bacall used to do doughnuts in the parking lot at MGM in Bogey’s red convertible.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Revlon named a shade of red after her. “Poppy’s Red,” after Laura’s nickname.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Laura never made a batch of cookies that were not burned. Pierre claimed it was so that the fire department would come to the house. Laura threw great parties for the firemen.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
She invented the little black dress and then told an up-and-coming Audrey Hepburn, “Wear this. It’ll look good on you. Take my cigarette holder. Hey—anybody got a tiara?”</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
She had a white Pomeranian named Ingeborg who went everywhere with her. Pierre, Laura’s manservant, would walk seven paces behind them and pick up Ingeborg’s poop. Later Pierre invented the “poop-and-scooper” for dog walkers, made by Remco. You can see infomercials for it on late-night T.V. Pierre’s children have made a fortune through their father’s patent and with the proceeds have set up a charity for celebrity dogs previously owned by Pamela Anderson.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
And last but not least, Laura is a generous soul.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Thank you, Laura—I mean—Jinny!</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
j9kovachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03914843888423313585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8276428512314044181.post-46210078973717726712012-10-30T05:00:00.000-07:002012-10-30T05:00:06.553-07:00Day 22: My Aunt Cathy, a Generous Soul<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
I’m behind on my “<a data-cke-saved-href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-6-a-night-in-the-bates-motel/" href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-6-a-night-in-the-bates-motel/" lj-cmd="LJLink">Generous Souls!</a>” In case you haven’t been paying attention, the “Blog-off” is my way of giving during our <a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.indiegogo.com/write-on-mamas?c=home&a=1575338" href="http://www.indiegogo.com/write-on-mamas?c=home&a=1575338" lj-cmd="LJLink">Indiegogo fundraiser</a>. I’ve pledged to write a blog post a day (minimum 100 words) for each day of the campaign. Then I decided to take it a step further and write a “Generous Soul” post for each friend or member of my family who donates to the cause. (“The cause” is publishing a collection of essays by our <a data-cke-saved-href="http://writeonmamas.com/" href="http://writeonmamas.com/" lj-cmd="LJLink">Write On, Mamas</a>)</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
I love doing the Generous Soul posts. (I think <a data-cke-saved-href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-8-generous-souls-a-love-story/" href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-8-generous-souls-a-love-story/" lj-cmd="LJLink">this one</a> is my favorite.) It gives me a chance to reflect on a person in my life, why I love them, why they are awesome, what I’d like folks to know.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
The only problem is that now that we’re three weeks into the campaign, I’m realizing that writing a (meaningful) blog post a day is not that easy. But I guess that’s the point. We write anyway. If I were exercising right now, I’d let myself off the hook. I’d tell myself to go to sleep. Tomorrow’s Garbage Truck Day. It’s a big day. I need to get some sleep.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
But I made a commitment. And if I don’t push myself to make this campaign successful, how can I expect anyone else to?</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
So, as promised:</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Today’s Generous Soul is my husband’s Aunt Cathy.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Like all the Generous Souls, there are so many great stories. There are the books that children get—holiday books, picture books, and most recently, beautiful <a data-cke-saved-href="https://www.robertsabuda.com/" href="https://www.robertsabuda.com/" lj-cmd="LJLink">Robert Sabuda</a> pop-up books. There are the visits, such as for one of Matt’s surprise birthday parties. There’s the pasta salad she brings to the great annual Cousin-O-Rama family reunion.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
My most treasured story about Aunt Cathy is not really a story at all. It’s just something she said to me at a very sad time. It was simple and elegant and honest. It acknowledged the inevitability of the situation; it acknowledged our grief. And it gave me something to say to others who might be in a similar place.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Can you see me? I’ve tucked away her words into a little satchel.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Someday during this great unfolding of life, our hearts will sag and you and I will feel empty and numb. I’ll open my satchel and cup my hands around Aunt Cathy’s sweet, solemn words. You’ll come close and I will show you what I have, as if I’ve let loose some fireflies on a late summer evening.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
We probably won’t smile. It won’t be that kind of occasion. But now you’ll have some fireflies to show the next person who comes along.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br />Thank you, Aunt Cathy.</div>
<br />j9kovachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03914843888423313585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8276428512314044181.post-42820405427448002562012-10-29T05:00:00.000-07:002012-10-28T21:55:50.092-07:00Day 21: Watching Sports Made Me a Better Parent<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Template>Normal.dotm</o:Template>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>318</o:Words>
<o:Characters>1818</o:Characters>
<o:Company>UC Berkeley</o:Company>
<o:Lines>15</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>3</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>2232</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>12.0</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves>false</w:TrackMoves>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>
<w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>
<w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:DontAutofitConstrainedTables/>
<w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
</w:Compatibility>
</w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="276">
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
Part I</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
I have this theory
that faking an interest in sports has helped me be a better parent. My first
boyfriend was a corner for his Catholic high school varsity team. So then I had
to learn what a cornerback is and does. It’s quite boring, really. It’s part of
the defense. But I really wanted this guy to like me, so that’s what we did on
lazy Sunday afternoons after he washed his parents’ car: we’d watch the Seattle
Seahawks and I pretended to want to know about football. I called the uniforms
“costumes” and the locker rooms “dressing rooms,” because I thought it made me
sound cute. I preferred Astroturf to natural grass because I thought it had a
“slimming effect on the players.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
This
was back when the Seahawks were in the AFC. Becoming a Seahawks fan meant that
I had to hate the Denver Broncos and the Oakland Raiders, even though that was
the year Bo Jackson was a rookie and Bo Jackson was awesome. Seattle had just
spent trazillions on a rookie defensive end from Oklahoma—“the Boz.” My
boyfriend looked a little like Brian Bosworth, even though my boyfriend was
much, much, smaller. My boyfriend was tickled by the similarity, but he
pretended not to care. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
I
was on tour in Minneapolis when the Raiders played the Seahawks on Monday Night
Football. On the last play of the first half, Bo Jackson totally deeked the
Boz—although I’m pretty sure they didn’t say “deeked” back then. The Boz fell
on his ass and Bo Jackson ran the ball back for something crazy like 70 yards.
And when he ran into the endzone, he didn’t stop. He kept running through the
tunnel into the dressing rooms—er, uh, locker rooms. It was the ultimate
humiliation for the Boz, who had been talking smack about Bo Jackson for eight
days, even without Twitter as a communication channel. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
I
yelled at the T.V. and I think I even threw something soft toward it, after
all, I was rooting for the home team. But secretly, I was took great pride in
watching that touchdown run, even though I had nothing to do with it. It’s a
victory for all mankind to see a human do amazing things, even if that human is
jacked up on steroids and deteriorates so quickly that he needs double hip
replacements by the time he turns forty.</div>
<!--EndFragment-->j9kovachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03914843888423313585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8276428512314044181.post-60564539949612439362012-10-28T05:00:00.000-07:002012-10-28T05:00:04.355-07:00Day 20 Blog-off: The Celebrated Specialist<br />
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Once upon a time there was a celebrated specialist who mistakenly assumed that humans could prepare for awful, unpredictable, unpreventable events by imagining them.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
“You need to be prepared at every ultrasound to have a dead baby,” she said, because there was a 50/50 chance that I could have an ultrasound like that.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
I nodded solemnly and then a little voice spoke up. Actually, it wasn’t so little; it was a big booming voice like Hilary Clinton or Queen Latifah.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
“No, we’re not going to do that,” said Latifah Clinton. “We are not going to spend the next several months preparing for a dead baby.”</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Then Latifah Clinton called the celebrated specialist some unkind names. Luckily, it was all part of an elaborate inner monologue, so the celebrated specialist didn’t hear anything.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
But <i>I</i> heard. And I decided to take her advice. What if I went the other way—what if I didn’t think about dead babies during my pregnancy? Of course, that’s easier said than done. You can’t just say, “Don’t think about a dead baby,” because that just makes you think, “Yeesh. I wish I hadn’t thought of a dead baby just now.”</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
So I needed something a little more sophisticated. I needed some tricks to retrain my brain. That’s where the cognitive science came in. And I needed a list of suggested activities to try. That’s where the Greater Good Science Center came in. And then I needed a way to implement these other activities. That’s when I started blogging.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<i>I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “That doesn’t sound like a finished post.” I concur. But really what I wanted to commit to paper was this scene. I keep writing it and rewriting it. Sometimes when I write the scene, my husband and I are angry by the end of it. In other drafts we’re confused but feeling resolute, united. In this draft, I know exactly what to do for the rest of the pregnancy. The truth of the matter is that in real life it all came up: anger, solidarity, a plan and a goal. I’m just trying on different scenes. Like trying on different dress shoes.</i></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<i>P.S. Don’t forget to vote. I mean, DONATE—don’t forget to DONATE! Two weeks left of the <a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.indiegogo.com/write-on-mamas?c=home&a=1575338" href="http://www.indiegogo.com/write-on-mamas?c=home&a=1575338" lj-cmd="LJLink">campaign</a>...</i></div>
j9kovachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03914843888423313585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8276428512314044181.post-42914035229032156572012-10-27T05:00:00.000-07:002012-10-27T05:00:06.014-07:00Day 19 Blog-off: the Color of Writing<br />
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
There it is again. That feeling in the pit of my stomach—the feeling of agony. A little monster in my gut who reaches up with his talons and claws me from the inside.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
This is what it feels like to sit down to write when I don’t want to write.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
It’s “red.” It feels like the color red.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Then there’s the shiftiness. A restlessness. The feeling that I’d like to turn on the radio or open a new document or write status updates. Check the donations on <a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.indiegogo.com/write-on-mamas?a=1575338" href="http://www.indiegogo.com/write-on-mamas?a=1575338" lj-cmd="LJLink">the Indiegogo site</a>. See if we got any more new ones (no). Write down possible <a data-cke-saved-href="http://writeonmamas.com/events/" href="http://writeonmamas.com/events/" lj-cmd="LJLink">speakers</a> for 2013 Scribbles & Sips events. Feel hungry.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
The shifty feelings are purple.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Sometimes I open a new Word document are type a lot of bad words. I won’t tell you which ones. Actually, it’s just the same word over and over again. Sometimes as a verb, sometimes as a noun or adjective or gerund. You know the one.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
That’s the blue phase. And no, I don’t think it has anything to do with “cursing up a blue streak.” I know, because blue feelings are calm feelings, and by the time I’ve decided to open a new document and type anything (or just the same thing over and over), I know that it’s just a matter of time before things get green.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
It’s a lime green. It’s a groove, this lime green. It’s when my fingers start to fly.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Each time I’m surprised that it happens. I’m always surprised that if I stay sitting and bang away at the keyboard long enough, deep thoughts will make their way from my brain through my fingers and onto the screen.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Maybe that’s why I write. Because if I sit still long enough, I will.</div>
j9kovachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03914843888423313585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8276428512314044181.post-88934192164270645202012-10-26T05:00:00.000-07:002012-10-26T05:00:02.748-07:00Day 18 Blog-off: THE EMAIL<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Template>Normal.dotm</o:Template>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>351</o:Words>
<o:Characters>2001</o:Characters>
<o:Company>UC Berkeley</o:Company>
<o:Lines>16</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>4</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>2457</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>12.0</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves>false</w:TrackMoves>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>
<w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>
<w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:DontAutofitConstrainedTables/>
<w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
</w:Compatibility>
</w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="276">
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have a confession to make. I still haven’t sent out the
email to friends and family telling them about the anthology and the <a href="http://www.indiegogo.com/write-on-mamas?c=home&a=1575338" target="_blank">Indiegogo campaign</a>. I was really hoping that my “<a href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-1-the-great-write-on-mamas-blog-off/" target="_blank">Blog-off</a>” idea, posted on five blogs,
two <a href="https://www.facebook.com/WriteOnMamas?ref=ts&fref=ts" target="_blank">Facebook pages</a>, and one <a href="https://twitter.com/janinekovac" target="_blank">Twitter account </a>would be enough that I wouldn’t
actually have to ask anyone point-blank for money. Because I hate that.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But as you can see from the graphic on the left (or right,
depending on the blog), the days are flying by but the contributions aren’t
necessarily flying in. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So I did it. I wrote the email and sent to a bajillion close
friends and family. This is what I wrote:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>You can’t see what I
see, because this is an undisclosed recipient list. But from where I sit, I’m
sifting through my contact list, checking off email addresses. Because you are
someone who has encouraged or inspired me to write—either through blog comments
or Facebook shares or emails with editing suggestions—I’ve added you to the
list. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>You took the initiative
to respond; I am so grateful for every time that one of you did. It’s made me
more serious about my writing and more comfortable in taking risks when I
write. I wouldn’t be in this place without your generous feedback. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>(Now comes the part
where I ask for a favor.)<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>I’ve started a project
with my writing group, the Write On, Mamas. We're collecting essays that we’ve
written about motherhood and writing and intend to self-publish them in an
anthology. We found an agent who has offered to help us navigate through our
maiden voyage in the self-publishing world and recruited an editor (whose
forte’ is helping mothers write their stories), to help us shape our book. To
pay for editing, graphic design, printing, and distribution, our group has
started an online fundraising campaign through Indiegogo.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>If you’ve got 90
seconds (two minutes and fifteen seconds if your Internet connection is slow),
you can help by just going to our Indiegogo campaign and sharing our link on
Facebook or Twitter. (We increase our “go-go factor” when we drive traffic to Indiegogo
and the more traffic we drive, the more prominently they feature our campaign
on their pages.)<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Of course, while you
are on our campaign page, if you are so inclined to contribute to the cause,
dude, I would be so totally grateful.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>A big thank-you to
this group of undisclosed recipients who collectively got me to the stage in
the first place—<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Sincerely,<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>janine<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<!--EndFragment-->j9kovachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03914843888423313585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8276428512314044181.post-58953445009527895412012-10-25T05:00:00.000-07:002012-10-25T05:00:01.458-07:00Day 17 Blog-off: NICU Days<br />
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
I told you about my <a data-cke-saved-href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-10-my-tuesday-sisters/" href="http://writeonmamas.com/day-10-my-tuesday-sisters/" lj-cmd="LJLink">Tuesday Sisters</a>, right? We follow the same format that <a data-cke-saved-href="http://carytennis.com" href="http://carytennis.com/" lj-cmd="LJLink">Cary Tennis</a> has implemented in his <a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.meetup.com/Cafe-La-Boheme-Writing-Practice/" href="http://www.meetup.com/Cafe-La-Boheme-Writing-Practice/" lj-cmd="LJLink">free-writing sessions</a> at Cafe La Boheme—pull a prompt, write for several minutes, go around the room and read, next prompt.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Our Tuesday Sisters have been meeting for over a year now, and our writing stamina has doubled. When we started, we wrote for a little over an hour in ten-minute increments. This week we wrote for almost three hours—and we would have kept going if we didn’t have the impositions of real life.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Here’s something from last Tuesday.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
The prompt: <b>It hurts to...</b></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
When you watch movies or T.V. shows about hospitals, there’s a lot of yelling that goes on when there’s an emergency.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
“Doctor, I can’t find the vein!”</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
“Nurse! Get me 50 ccs of blah blah blah!”</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
“We’re losing him!”</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
In real life there’s an inverse correlation between noise level and medical emergency. The more acute the emergency, the quieter the room gets. The first time I got to hold Michael—his “went gray like a baggy puppet moment”—I went from smiles and warm fuzzies to “Why is it so quiet? And why are there suddenly five nurses in here?”</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Five people working wordlessly together, like choreographed dance. This one takes the little thing to “bag him,” that one moves the oxygen dial up, another one is doing, I don’t know what, because I just added some more soap to the bubble.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Nobody said, “We’re losing him!”</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Because if everybody’s thinking it, nobody needs to say it out loud.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
The day Wagner kept de-satting, they decided to take blood for tests. Why not? You know, just to be sure.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
They couldn’t find a vein. His blood kept clotting too quickly. They tried in his foot, his hand, his arm. They got Cheryl, the charge nurse whose “thing” was that she could always find a vein.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Wagner never cried. He just didn’t. So it was no surprise now that he didn’t cry. But he was completely limp. They jabbed him with a needle to get blood and he didn’t react at all.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Matt and I watched with crossed arms, pursing our lips, too nervous to pace. It’s not normal to not react at all. But the nurses were talking to each other. So I knew it wasn’t that serious.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
It turned out they’d given him a drop of sucrose on the tongue. In babies it has the same temporary effect as a dose of morphine.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<i>Admit it—you liked this post! How could you not? There’s drama, tension, tiny babies (VERY tiny babies). It’s a scene I’ve written about before and thought about a lot. Because that’s what I do. Think and write. And now, with my fellow Write On, Mamas, I’m putting together an anthology. And that’s where <a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.indiegogo.com/write-on-mamas?c=home&a=1575338" href="http://www.indiegogo.com/write-on-mamas?c=home&a=1575338" lj-cmd="LJLink">YOU come in</a>. Admit it. You want to see more.</i></div>
<div>
<i><br /></i></div>
j9kovachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03914843888423313585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8276428512314044181.post-23638214756389088542012-10-24T05:00:00.000-07:002012-10-24T05:00:01.688-07:00Day 16 Blog-off: Do it Now<br />
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
If you’re following along at home, you know that I’m part of a mom’s writing group. We’re called <a data-cke-saved-href="http://writeonmamas.com/" href="http://writeonmamas.com/" lj-cmd="LJLink">the Write On, Mamas</a>. And we’ve decided to publish an anthology of our work. We’re raising the funds through Indiegogo and if you follow the <a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.indiegogo.com/write-on-mamas?a=1575338" href="http://www.indiegogo.com/write-on-mamas?a=1575338" lj-cmd="LJLink">link</a>, you can help us get there. Our tentative title for the anthology is <i>Why Mamas Write.</i></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Here’s how the idea started: my fellow moms would talk about their writing. Or I’d read an application for a writing grant. Inevitably two minutes into the spiel or two paragraphs into the draft, I’d hear the words, “And that’s when I knew I had to tell this story.”</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
The stories of how our stories started—the original myths—are fascinating. One of our moms, Mindy Uhrlaub, is writing a novel about Congo. When Mindy talks about her time in Congo, her eyes widen. She opens her arms in broad gestures and shakes her head back and forth. She describes sitting in her son’s room before her trip, packing a duffel bag with toilet paper and diapers and Crayola crayons. She is in that place where the mind does the math: what could one person possibly hope to accomplish? Then the heart takes over, pulled as if summoned from beyond.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<i>If not you, then who? If not now, then when?</i></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
It’s so fitting that yesterday’s “Goodreads Quote of the Day” came from Doris Lessing, 2007 Nobel Laureate for Literature. (Who, coincidently also wrote about children in Africa.)</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Here’s that quote:</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<i>Whatever you're meant to do, do it now. The conditions are always impossible. </i></div>
<div>
<i><br /></i></div>
j9kovachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03914843888423313585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8276428512314044181.post-28837796752595947522012-10-23T05:00:00.000-07:002012-10-23T07:48:40.315-07:00Day 15 Blog-off: Cary Tennis Part II<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Template>Normal.dotm</o:Template>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>231</o:Words>
<o:Characters>1319</o:Characters>
<o:Company>UC Berkeley</o:Company>
<o:Lines>10</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>2</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>1619</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>12.0</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves>false</w:TrackMoves>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>
<w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>
<w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:DontAutofitConstrainedTables/>
<w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
</w:Compatibility>
</w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="276">
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yesterday I wrote about <a href="http://podtales.blogspot.com/2012/10/day-14-blog-off-cary-tennis.html" target="_blank">Cary Tennis</a> and the workshop he
leads on Tuesday nights. It’s an ongoing workshop (you can read more about them
<a href="http://www.carytennis.com/" target="_blank">here</a>). I’m a big fan. That’s what yesterday’s post was all about.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m such a big fan that I asked Cary to be the guest speaker
of our first-ever <a href="http://writeonmamas.com/events/" target="_blank">Sips & Scribbles</a> and then I asked him to lead our
first-ever Write On, Mamas writing retreat. And he said “yes.” Of course.
Because Cary’s cool like that.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is what I love about Cary’s workshops and Pat Schneider’s
Amherst Writers & Artists <a href="http://www.patschneider.com/" target="_blank">method</a>:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0px;">
</div>
<ol>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> It takes the critic off my shoulder. You know,
that little voice that second-guesses each word</span> </li>
<li><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">It’s made me a more attentive listener when
other writers read their work</span></li>
<li> <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">It’s made me a better editor—sometimes the help
another writer needs comes from knowing what already working</span></li>
<li> <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">It’s helped me create a writing routine</span></li>
<li> <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">It makes me feel like a “real” writer</span></li>
</ol>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The retreat is on the calendar for January 27, 2013 from 1pm
to 6pm at the <a href="http://ohanloncenter.org/" target="_blank">O’Hanlon Center for the Arts</a>.<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve already claimed my spot. There are 11 left. Contact me
(Janine) at programs [at] writeonmamas [dot] com to claim yours. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>OH! And you know why I’m
writing this blog post in the first place, right? It’s the Blog-off—I’m writing
a blog post a day for every day of the <a href="http://igg.me/p/245499?a=1575338" target="_blank">Write On, Mamas Indiegogo campaign</a>. We’re
writing a book! But we need a little seed money to make it happen. There are
lots of perks to donating—including your own Blog-off Blog Post singing your
praises.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<!--EndFragment-->j9kovachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03914843888423313585noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8276428512314044181.post-41054993766343331332012-10-22T05:00:00.000-07:002012-10-22T05:00:04.876-07:00Day 14 Blog-off: Cary Tennis<br />
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<i>Another day, another blog post. That’s because my writing group is self-publishing an anthology of our own work and we’re raising funds to make it happen. The Blog-off is my clever and not-so-subtle-way of saying “Hey! Read this! And then click <a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.indiegogo.com/write-on-mamas?a=1575338" href="http://www.indiegogo.com/write-on-mamas?a=1575338" lj-cmd="LJLink">here</a> so we can write more just like it!”</i></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Today’s blog post is about <a data-cke-saved-href="http://carytennis.com/" href="http://carytennis.com/" lj-cmd="LJLink">Cary Tennis</a>. A year and a half ago someone said to me, “My friend is starting a new writing workshop on Tuesday nights. I think you’ll like it. You should go.”</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
So I went.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
I’m still going.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
By day Cary Tennis (<a data-cke-saved-href="http://writeonmamas.com/events/" href="http://writeonmamas.com/events/" lj-cmd="LJLink">February speaker for the Write On, Mamas</a>) writes an <a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.salon.com/topic/since_you_asked/" href="http://www.salon.com/topic/since_you_asked/" lj-cmd="LJLink">advice column for Salon.com</a> (ten years and counting). By night, he helps writers craft their stories, using <a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.patschneider.com/" href="http://www.patschneider.com/" lj-cmd="LJLink">Pat Schneider’s Amherst’s Writers and Artists’ Method</a>.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Here’s how it works:</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
We sit in a circle in Cary’s living room. At 7:05, he shuts the curtain; it’s time to begin.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
In the most calming soothing voice, the voice one uses to encourage a child to get back on her bicycle after a fall, Cary reads “The Five Essential Affirmations.”</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
“These affirmations rest on a definition of personhood that is nonhierarchical, and a definition of writing as an art form available to all persons,” he says, quoting from Pat’s book.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
He continues:</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<i>1. Everyone has a strong, unique voice.</i><br />
<i>2. Everyone is born with creative genius.</i><br />
<i>3. Writing as an art form belongs to all people, regardless of economic class or educational level.</i><br />
<i>4. The teaching of craft can be done without damage to a writer’s original voice or artistic self-esteem.</i><br />
<i>5. A writer is someone who writes.</i></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Then he closes his eyes and breathes deeply, as if he smells something sweet and wonderful, right there in his own living room. When he exhales, he reads the “Five Essential Practices”—guidelines to how we respond to our work, to others’ work.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
And then we write for three hours.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<a data-cke-saved-href="http://podtales.blogspot.com/2012/10/day-10-write-on-mamas-blog-off.html" href="http://podtales.blogspot.com/2012/10/day-10-write-on-mamas-blog-off.html" lj-cmd="LJLink">Tuesday</a> has become a sacred space that I have carved out for myself as a writer. Pixie dust gets sprinkled in the room and stories I didn’t even know I had inside me get written. (Some of them have even gone on to be published online at <a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.fiction365.com/genre/uncategorized/?author=Janine+Kovac" href="http://www.fiction365.com/genre/uncategorized/?author=Janine+Kovac" lj-cmd="LJLink">Fiction365</a>—pretty much the way they were typed out during the workshop.)</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
I’m so grateful for what this workshop has given me. It’s more than confidence. It’s trust. Trust that I can just keep typing and sometimes something worth keeping will get pounded out. Trust that I can cut something that doesn’t work and it’ll help me find something that will work. Trust that if I keep writing, Tuesdays, Fridays, Saturdays, and beyond, then I will keep writing. The art, the craft—it starts with the act of writing. </div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
j9kovachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03914843888423313585noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8276428512314044181.post-35539538279874240852012-10-21T05:00:00.000-07:002012-10-22T00:26:55.635-07:00Day 13 Blog-off: Secret Superheroes<br />
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
No “Generous Souls” today, which on the one side is bad—it means that I should probably start prodding people again to <a data-cke-saved-href="http://www.indiegogo.com/write-on-mamas?a=1575338" href="http://www.indiegogo.com/write-on-mamas?a=1575338" lj-cmd="LJLink">donate</a> and ask their friends to donate which is precisely as much fun as it sounds.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
But it also means that instead of writing a blog post about a Generous Soul, I can write about what’s gnawing at my brain. Today I’m thinking of my friend who is about to undergo chemotherapy. She’s looking at statistics of women who are in a similar situation—but the data pool is so small. Opinions are flying in like dive-bombing birds. At least, that’s what I imagine.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
Having made a living in data management, I know how worthless data can be. In order for numbers to have any value, they must be stripped of the stories from which they originate. I know why the stories get discarded. It’s because they don’t have any predictive value. Whereas statistics (such as “98% success rate”) give the appearance of offering predictive value. But when you strip the story, you lose a bit of the truth. You lose the meat</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
The stories are the tools for the hero’s journey. The tale of the family who grows even closer through frequent hospital visits. Or the scene with sister-in-laws sitting on a bed, hugging and sobbing, devastated at the circumstances that have brought them together, but grateful to have each other. The husband who hugs his wife and says, “I don’t want to risk losing you even 1%.”</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
The stories of how people deal with the unexpected is far more helpful than bundling their outcomes into various categories. Besides, it’s the only part of our lives over which we exert any control.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
I picture my friend, picking out wigs. She clicks her teeth and shakes her head because she knows that cancer is not a battle. The afflicted are not lumped into groups of winners and losers. Cancer is just a disease. Chemotherapy is not a weapon; it’s just an often-effective treatment with lots of horrible side effects. My friend’s shoulders slump, because it’s no fun to always be the grown-up, to always be the person who does the right thing, the horrible thing. My friend sighs and puts the wig back. She turns to leave, purposely avoiding eye contact with herself in the mirror. So she doesn’t see what I see in her reflection: her chin is lifted and she’s raised her fist in the air, her Superhero’s cape blowing behind her.</div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #222222; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">
<br /></div>
j9kovachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03914843888423313585noreply@blogger.com4