Friday, January 20, 2012

More Wagner

Wagner had a full-on conversation yesterday with a woman we saw in a cafe. I was trying to get my children to eat spinach pastries; they were holding out for blueberry muffins.  Research shows (at least my research shows--based on a sample of 3), that children with blueberry muffins make less noise than children with spinach pastries. So you can guess how THAT turned out.

Anyway, the woman at the table next to us looked at me and my brood and said the standard "How cute!" and "Twins?" and "Is that the big sister?" before closing with, "You have your hands full, don’t you?"

It's the same rhetorical conversation I have about ten times a day.

But Wagner saw her engagement as an invitation to he went with it.

When she said, "How cute!" he pointed to his brother and said, "Mi-call!" Then he pointed to himself. “Beg-bee!” (That’s how he says, “Wagner.”)

The woman looked at me. I translated.

So she went on to her next line. “Twins?”

I nodded and Wagner finished his introductions. “Mama! Ra-ra!” he exclaimed, pointing first to me, then to Chiara.

“Is that the big sister?” the woman said, following the script.

But Wagner wasn’t done. He made some funny gestures with his hands. She’s not paying attention; she’s trying to get the cafe’s wireless to work on her laptop.

“Mutton!” he shouts at her.

She looks up, clearly startled that this toddler is yelling toward her.

“He’s telling you he had a muffin for lunch,” I explain to the woman, who smiles politely and goes back to her laptop.

Wagner’s too inexperienced to understand what her body language is telling us. She’s done with the conversation, but he’s just getting started.

He sits back in his chair and stares at her until she looks up. When she does, he lays on her the only come-on line he knows.


The woman looks at me. “You have your hands full, don’t you?”

(Wagner's the bunny. As usual, Mikey is the guy with grin)


  1. If only the cafe neighbor had in her vocabulary words like, "Yes? Yes?" he could have impressed her with "Digger!" or "Garbage truck!"

    It may be Michael is smiling because he knows his brother is planning their next adventure.

    Great post. Really good images. So well-written. I could imagine the scene.